Raising Witchlings Series: A Witches Legacy

Published on Examiner.com / December 28, 2013
A legacy is something passed down from the past. Usually we think of property, money, inheritances or even positions or titles but a legacy is something so much more. It is the essence of who we were during our lifetime. Usually our legacy is something we think of regarding our children and grandchildren. During this Yuletide season have you thought of what your legacy is? What you would like it to be?

Do we ever stop to think what our legacy is to our children on a daily basis? How kind were we, how compassionate were we, how well did we really listen to our children's needs, how forgiving, how loving. An act of a minutes anger can leave our children with a legacy of mistrust. Many acts of anger, whether towards our children or others in our lives, can insure that the legacy we leave behind is not a positive one.

Yes, a nice inheritance may be nice for our children but our daily actions and how we handle our lives are what is really important. Our children should know that life is meant to be joyful and fun, not overrun with heartache and misery. Others do not steer our course, only we have the ability to choose what direction we take in any given situation. We can choose joy or we can choose misery and disappointment.

The holidays can be such a stressful time for so many, but when we take the time to consider our ancestors and the legacy they gave us - in many ways they have shown us what this winter season was truly meant for. Yule is the point of rebirth and renewal. It is a time to slow down, travel less, contemplate more. What have we done over the past year? What will we do with the next year?

Are we angry a lot or in a regular state of depression? Do we blame others for what they have forced onto our life? Do we argue and fight, allow guilt and overwhelming obligations to family and friends dictate what we do in our daily lives? What does this tell our children? That life just isn't all that great. That to grow up is to feel pain and suffer. That to have anything good in our lives is selfish and not within our control. That others have the power to steer our future in any direction they choose.

This is not a legacy worth sharing. As a Witch, I can only speak to a Witches legacy. What I have learned within my life and spiritual practices. That God is seen in many faces and many forms. That my way is not the only way, nor the only true, correct way. That no one has the ability to steer my future unless I hand them my power - which I will not do. That to care for myself, to make myself my top priority is not selfish but the only way to live my true and authentic life. That life is meant to be joyful and fun. That I have infinite possibilities and it is only my inability to believe in these possibilities that holds me back. That everyone deserves the right to be happy and I have no right to demand that they should do as I say or want. That honesty with compassion, even if difficult to speak, is always the better choice. That many times it is best to stay silent and just listen. That everyone has a right to their own opinion no matter how opposite or irrational it may seem to me. That I need no one to speak for me or dictate to me how I need to see God because the source of our creation flows through me every second of every day whether I feel it or not. That every day I have a new chance to change my fate and bring absolute abundance into my life. That the laws that are enacted, the wars that are fought, the religions that preach sin and hatred of others who are different come from a place so detached from what we call God that they are not worth my attention. That every relationship we form is eternal and even if painful, it is a lesson we needed. It is a lesson to see what we really want and take the leap of faith to have it is always worth it.

These are some of the larger life lessons that I would choose for my legacy. There are smaller ones as well such as, television and the media are really a waste of time and only stand in the way of life's joy. Animals and pets really do make life a better place. We can learn a lot from the innocent joy of our children and our emotions are our way of figuring out whether we are heading in the right direction or not. Meditation is the best and fastest way to connect with the gods and our true selves, magick is very real and not something in fairytales and fancies and no matter what path my children choose in life - I will always stand behind them with love and support whether I am here in this physical body or not.

If I can leave my children with this knowledge, if they can know with absolute certainty that they really can have everything they want in life, I will be handing them the world. I do not want them to see my pain or anger at another as an excuse to feel the same - or worse, an excuse to build a wall around themselves to keep those experiences at a 'safe' distance. Whether it be towards a family member, a spouse, a friend, an ex, the teller at the bank or the stranger walking down the street - all of our experiences are valuable to us. All of these experiences and relationships help us see more and more clearly what we want in life. They give us goals and aspirations. Yes, even the painful ones. We experience the things in life we do not want, which allows us to strive for what we do want. Without these experiences how would we truly know our true selves? The trick is to see what we don't want and as quickly as possible begin thinking and feeling our way in the direction of what we do want, one baby step at a time. To spend our days going over the what if's, how could they have done/said that to me, what could have been different - these do nothing but keep us trapped in the past and we can never be happy in the past. To keep ourselves in a place of anger, depression, vengeance and hatred will only bring more of those things into our lives. To allow what someone else said or did to pave the path of our future, to so completely submit ourselves to someone else's control is so beneath us all. This is not what we would ever want to pass on to our children, but we will if we do not show them a better way.

As a Witch I know that what I call God and Goddess is just the form that feels right and true for me. This may not be true for my children, and that is alright as long as they are following the path that feels right to them. As a Witch I know that I hold magick within my very essence and I want to share this with my children. As a Witch I know that what I do, say, think and feel return to me threefold and that I want the good to flow naturally to my children while the bad are distant and foreign to them. As a Witch, an ordained minister and High Priestess I've seen many different paths and forms of Paganism and even among ourselves we can disagree on the right way to call the quarters, invoke the God and Goddess, celebrate the Esbats and Sabbats, set up an alter, cleanse and consecrate our sacred space and tools and teach our children our path. But I know that there is no one way or right way of doing any of these things. When we calm our minds and reach for our connection with the God/Goddess we will do what is right for us, in the way that is right for us because there has never been only one way and there never will be. As a Witch I know that the diversity that surrounds us is our greatest strength and asset and never something to demean, hate or fear. As a Witch I know that the relationships and interactions I have on a daily basis, the good ones and even more so the bad ones, will show my children what life is. What life can become and even more importantly, what they can expect from life within these physical bodies during this lifetime.

As Wiccan/Pagan/Witches and as parents we know that what we call reality is such a subjective term. What is reality except what is in this exact moment? But now that moment is gone and it is the next with its reality, but again that is now gone and the next moment of reality is upon us. And why exactly do we need to put every ounce of energy into the right now when we could be allowing the right now to reform an even more joyful future by not allowing the right now, the reality of each and every moment, to hold us back from our birthright as human beings living on this planet in this time and place? Our birthright as the very essence of creation, of the God and Goddess themselves, is to live in joy and love and happiness. If enough of us can share this knowledge and wisdom with our children, the evils of this world, the bad of this world, would no longer have the feeling and emotion to sustain itself within our reality.

This is the legacy I choose to strive for, for myself and for my children. Not one of bickering and arguing, of guilt and selfish obligations, of harsh words and un-forgiveness, of allowing others to dictate my feelings and emotions, of pain and misery, of mourning and living in a past that is no more. Of working hard and fighting my way through life rather than flowing with it, in destroying rather than creating, of no second chances. This is not the life for me, nor the legacy I will leave behind. My legacy is that of a Witch.

Have you taken time to think of the daily legacy you leave with your children? This is the perfect time, the perfect season, the perfect chance. No regrets, no second thoughts of the past and what could have or should have been - just what you will do this day, this moment. All else is irrelevant and not worth our attention for one second longer. Don't just leave a legacy behind once you are no longer in your current physical body, live it each and every day.

Published on Examiner.com / December 28, 2013

See other articles in the 'Raising Witchlings' series at http://www.examiner.com/user/6063731/content

Brightest Blessings )0(
the Witchy Writer

Modern Day Witch Hunt

Why is it that when we end a relationship our first reaction is to concentrate all of our energy on what went wrong? What made us angry, hurt, disappointed, enraged, depressed and even to the point of becoming vengeful? Why, as a human race, can't we see this ending for what it really is - a fresh start. An open door to new experiences, learned lessons and the ability to find someone who really will match up to who we are.

We let our anger consume us at the end, why? It's over now. No more need to argue, fight your battles, share your time and space with them. Why can't we just say, 'Whew! That was a rough, but now I'm moving forward into something so much better and healthier for me.' But no, we hang onto the rage and anger as if it's some kind of life line. This isn't who we are!

We may think we want to see our ex's as inherently evil beings, but they aren't. We are all inherently good people. We don't respond to well to anger and rage and hurt. We respond to kindness, compassion, friendship and respect. None of us are bad people. We may make bad decisions, but those decisions do not make up who and what we really are.

"It seems that human beings

have been hard wired through

the years to speak of, think about

and act on our pain far more than

we do our pleasure."

It seems that human beings have been hard wired through the years to speak of, think about and act on our pain far more than we do our pleasure. There's just something so wrong with this conclusion. I like to think that we are changing this...time will tell.

Reacting to pain makes our lives so much more difficult, but add children to the mix and you're harboring a storm that deep down none of us want to experience or see our children be forced to live through. But it again, it goes back to that hard wiring. It can be difficult to fight those urges, even when children are suffering because of it.

We will have people move in and out of our lives for eternity, some feel good, some don't. It can feel worse when the person was in an intimate relationship with you, but if they're no longer in that kind of relationship with you - it was for a reason and you probably feel better without that person there all the time if you will only take the time to consider that possibility.

"Harboring anger and resentment

only truly hurts the one harboring it -

not the one on the receiving end."

Harboring anger and resentment only truly hurts the one harboring it - not the one on the receiving end. But we find ourselves out to forcibly prove to the world how horrible this person was and continues to be. But that just isn't true. They may not have been the best mate for you, but that doesn't mean they'll be alone forever - nor will you remain alone and unattached for the rest of your life. Love is out there for everyone even if one or both of your royally screwed up in past relationships. Learn from them and keep moving forward. Don't waste your time and energy attacking the past, digging for dirt and keeping yourself in such a negative place. You suffer, the children suffer, everyone suffers. That is not how life is meant to be.

 

"We turn our past relationships into

modern day Witch hunts."

We turn our past relationships into modern day Witch hunts. We can spend hours of our day hunting and searching for some lost hidden secret about the other person, slandering and spewing venom at someone who is no longer there. But there must be something...anything that you can use to prove that you had no fault in any of this. Yeah right...

And it doesn't have to be strictly someone from a past intimate relationship: ex-lover's, ex-spouse's, ex-friend's, ex-coworker's, ex-boss's. There will be a never ending stream of ex's that leave your life, and we seem to believe that if they have left our life for any negative reason we have to shout to the world how bad it was. How horrible this person was to you. How you didn't deserve to be treated that way. Even if we were the one at fault. Why? Does is change what happened? Does it make the other person feel regret and sorrow at their supposed actions? Probably not. In fact, if they find out you've taken it upon yourself to inform the world of who you think they are they'll most likely do the exact same to you. And the cycle of anger continues... Well that's helpful. Don't we all just feel so much better now...yes - this is sarcasm.

"We need to break the cycle before it breaks us."

We need to break the cycle before it breaks us. It's disappointing that our culture talks of all the bad in the world and so little of the good. One day, I hope that this will be reversed. I think the world would be a much better place if this were true. We all need to take a deep breath, relax and take an honest look at the ex's in our lives. They aren't worth all the bashing and digging and spewing - they just aren't. And really, like attracts like. If this is what you are doing then guess what's going to be happening to you in the very near future? You got it. Call it karma, God's will, Nature, Law of Attraction - it's all the same thing. What we put out in this world returns to us. We need to keep this in our minds when in the process of an ending of something/someone in our lives.

Breaking this cycle can seem monumentally impossible when you are in the thick of one of these endings. But try to take more deep breaths, get more fresh air, talk less, listen more. Especially to those around you who are also in their own ending of a relationship. Just listen to what is going on, see the stress and anxiety it puts the person through, see how no matter what they say or do it never seems to get better. Now take a long hard look in a mirror and see if that person is also you. It isn't worth it.

I know it's hard to step back, but when you start watching others and seeing first hand how futile the entire episode is, it'll give you a very different perspective on your own ex's. For those on the receiving end of the digging and spewing - sure, maybe they get a little ticked at first but eventually it just turns into one big joke. Okay, what will so-and-so think of next? It becomes this waiting game to see what kind of stupidity they other person tries to fling at you. And then you laugh, which makes the other person even angrier, and they try harder...and on and on and on...

"We need to step away and stop engaging."

We need to step away and stop engaging. If this person is an ex, then they are in the past. Leave it there. There must be something in your life that is more interesting. Just turn your back and walk away. Life will be so much better and sweeter if you do. And if the ex can't stop their cycle, not your problem. You stopped yours and your life is better for it. You aren't responsible for theirs.

Trying to Stay in a Good Place

I love both of my children with all my heart. It doesn't matter that my daughter is not mine by blood, she is technically my 'step' daughter, but my children are 'my children'. I love them equally. They are both my family.

My husband and I got to spend the Autumnal Equinox with both of our children. My husband asked his ex for 1 extra hour so our daughter could spend more time with family (my mother-in-law celebrated with us and very rarely gets to see our daughter because she lives with her biological mother). She refused because spending this seasonal holiday with me is not a family activity in her opinion. She said that this is just "my religious event" and has nothing to do with our daughter.

I'm trying to stay in a good place, but I'm so sick and tired of her outrageous stupidity and ignorance. Her bitterness and jealousy of me is hitting all time lows and only serves to make it less likely that we'll do anything to cooperate with her on anything in the future, in addition to her hurting her own daughter by not allowing us any real quality time with her. We only get to see her every 2 weeks for a few hours each day on the weekend.

But I find that her ignorance also angers me. She has no idea what my beliefs are. My husband and I think that she probably had to Google yesterday's holiday to even know why we wanted our daughter to spend an extra hour with us. The equinox is not a religious holiday for everyone. It's a seasonal holiday, the Pagan's Thanksgiving. And being Pagan does not make one religious. If she wants to debate what my path is, she should at least become educated on it beforehand so her stupidity doesn't show through so clearly.

And - I am married to our daughter's father. I am family. My husband's ex does not have to like it, but I am family. I love our daughter and I always will. That is just the way it is. She is going to have to figure out a way to live with this fact. She has no choice but to share her biological daughter with me. And she is the one who threw my 'now husband' out of their home with nothing but a backpack and the clothes on his back. What did she honestly think would happen after doing something that extreme?

So I am trying to release the anger I've had for this selfish and ignorant excuse for a woman and mother. And all I wish to give to her...is my silence. I will not allow her to ruin my love for my new daughter, she is what matters. Both of our children are loved by my husband and me and that will never change.

Raising Witchlings Series: Children and Meditation

Posted on Examiner.com / Sept. 1, 2013

Of all the tips and techniques available to help children learn to meditate, there is one that stands out the most. In order to teach your children meditation they must learn by example. You, as the parent, should have a meditation practice in place; one that your children see you practice regularly. Not only will it show them the basics of meditation but it will also give you a calmer perspective in raising and teaching your children.

The Dalai Lama is quoted, "If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation." This is a gift to ourselves as well as our children that we cannot afford not to give. Meditation gives a child self-empowerment, the ability to feel safe and a better sense and understanding of their own needs and emotions. Their physical and mental health are increased by this practice. This is especially helpful for children with hyper-activity disorders like ADHD. Giving a child the ability and knowledge that they are in fact in control of their emotions and feelings can and does change their entire world.

You do not have to prescribe to any specific religion or spiritual path to meditate; it is open and available for everyone. As adults, many have found the benefits of meditation later in life and want to pass this gift onto their children. The age of your child will dictate the technique and time frame for each meditation session. Some feel that Yoga Nidra is one of the best forms of meditation for children as it allows for a very deep relaxation. This can be done in the evening before bedtime or at any point during the day. Especially if your child has experienced something and they need to find a way to calm down and relax. Techniques will very, but there are some basics that parents should follow.

• Have your child relax into a comfortable position. For Yoga Nidra, the best position is in Shavasana (corpse pose). Have your child lay on their back; head, shoulders and spine in alignment; palms facing up and legs straight, feet slightly apart.
• Guide your child in an awareness of their body. In the beginning this may not be very natural for your child. Have them tense each body part one at a time, hold, then release it and relax. This will begin to teach them how to move their awareness through their body. In time you can guide them to simply feel the vibrations or energy flowing in each part of their body.
• Guide your child in an awareness of their breath. Have them take 3 slow deep breaths to further their relaxation. Ask them to be aware of each breath as they take them, breathing in slowly and then out.
• Reassure your child that they are safe and protected. Possible suggestions for this would be to have them encounter a guardian (animal, angel, person), who will always be with them. Have the guardian give them a cloak of protection that they will wear during the meditation.
• Have your child release any worries or fears they may be holding onto. Have your child's guardian walk them first to the 'Worry Tree'. This is an ancient tree whose job it is to collect all the worries and fears so your child can release them. Have your child see each worry/fear as a ribbon, tell them to pin or tie each ribbon to the tree. Then have their guardian walk them away from the tree, thus releasing the worries and fears.

Once your child is relaxed and receptive the door is wide open on what type of meditation to proceed with. This is a time to explore various methods and find what works best for each child. In the beginning it is best to use guided meditations. Walk your child through a short story or adventure. Leave the ending of the meditation open for them to finish the exploration or story for themselves allowing them to drift off to sleep. Or you can walk them through the story in its entirety and then gently call them back into the awareness of their bodies and into wakefulness.

As your child progresses they can begin silent meditations or listening to soft background music. Invite them to join your silent meditations; using this time to bond with them. Create a sign that your child can hang on their doorknob of their bedrooms with something like, 'Please be quiet, meditation in progress', thus allowing them to request their own private quiet time. For those of us practicing Wicca, have your child keep their Book of Shadows (BOS) or a journal handy to record any experiences they have. This is a great opportunity to have your child record their own progress; something they can look back on in years to come and pass on to their children. Building this experience into a family tradition will strengthen the bond of love and open communication for everyone.

Don't feel discouraged in the beginning. There are so many techniques available and practice will bring rewards. You can use the many examples of meditation scripts available online or in books, or you can write your own. You know best what your child likes and responds to. Use your intuition to guide you on this path. What landscapes, colors, activities, animals and play does your child prefer? Find a script you like and rewrite it, replacing the places and interactions with those your child will openly respond to. There is no right or wrong way to put together a meditation. The goal is to find a way of teaching your child to relax, calm themselves and fully connect with themselves in their own unique and intimate way.

Children can be taught empathy and compassion for the world through meditation. Have your child experience what it is like to soar in the sky with the birds, sway in the breeze with the trees, discover life in an ant colony. Connecting with nature and Mother Earth are great ways of teaching our children about our interconnectedness and why it is our sacred job to care for Her. Below are listed various sites that give good examples of scripts and meditations for children of all ages as well as additional information for the parents on how to get started. See this as an opportunity to open up a whole new world to your children, they will be grateful to you that you did.

Here are some site suggestions with meditations and information to help you get started:
http://www.sarahwood.com/Meditations.htm
http://www.freemeditation.com/online-meditation/
http://www.teachchildrenmeditation.com/
http://meditation.org.au/index.asp?mobilecheck=true
http://yoganidrafree.com/children.html
http://www.relaxkids.com/tips/entry/Meditation_and_relaxation_for_children_with_ADHD_/597

Posted on Examiner.com: http://www.examiner.com/article/raising-witchlings-children-and-meditation

Having Exactly What We Want

I'm working on a number of articles right now, but I'm also reading a lot of material on living a life of abundance and joy. I'm currently reading from "The Vortex" by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and this page really seems to sum up what I'd like to say today:

'Since everyone wants to feel good, but there are so many things that others are doing that, as you observe them, do not feel good, it is easy to understand how you would come to the conclusion that your path to feeling good is through influencing or controlling the behavior of others. But as you attempt to control them (through influence or coercion), you discover that not only can you not contain them - but your attention to them brings more like them into your experience.

Your current society is waging a war against illegal drugs, a war against poverty, a war against crime, a war against teenage pregnancy, a war against cancer, a war against AIDS, a war against terrorism [a war against hate]... and all of them are getting bigger. You simply cannot get to where you want to be by controlling or eliminating the unwanted.

And who among you gets to decide which way of living is the "right" one, anyway? Is the largest group the one that holds that "knowledge," or is the group with the greatest capacity to kill the other groups the one who is "right"? Do poor people have the answer? Do rich people hold the key? Which religion is the "right" religion? Which way of life is the "right" one? Is it right to have children? How many is the correct number? And if a woman has children, is it appropriate for her to think of other things? Can she have a career, or is she now obligated to think of nothing other than her children? How should a man treat his wife? How many wives should he have?

The flawed premise "My group's/our way is the only correct way, therefore all other ways must be stopped, because when I look at what I do not agree with, I feel bad" is the basis of the majority of unhappiness on your planet.

Not only do those being pushed against feel the pain, but those doing the pushing feel it as well. In fact, the unhappiest, least fulfilled among you are those who are pushing against others, because, in doing so, you are disallowing the most important relationship of all; the relationship between you and You."

We are bringing to us all that we have in our lives and by pushing against the things/people/organizations, etc. that we don't want in our lives we're just screaming 'GIVE ME MORE, GIVE ME MORE, GIVE ME MORE' of what we do not want.

To get what you DO want...put your energy, thoughts and feelings to what you want more of in your life. Let go of what you do not want, your thoughts and energy are better placed on good feeling things. Let others deal with their own negative manifestations into their reality, don't make their pain your own, you deserve so much better.

Something to meditate on tonight...

Brightest Blessings!
the Witchy Writer ☽◯☾

Finding Peace in Turmoil

Like finding the sun shining through in the midst of a storm, we all want to be able to find peace when we are facing turmoil in our lives. So we keep asking ourselves how we can find any kind of inner peace when a storm is raging within us. Our chests are tight and hurt, we become overly sensitive to everything and everyone. One minute we're crying and the next we are exploding over something small and usually meaningless. So how do we do it?

I've been asking myself this very question over the past few days. My husband has a daughter from his previous relationship. She is 3, and beautiful, and wonderful, and smart, and so many more things. I can already see the trouble she is going to cause us when she's a teenager, but I welcome it because I love her so very much. Well - and I already know all the teenage girl tricks because I used them all myself. And I'm going to thoroughly enjoy watching my husband's flustering frustrations as she becomes a young woman. It's going to be quite entertaining.

The turmoil however, is with my lovely step-daughter's mother. I suppose it isn't usual for women to like or get along with their ex's new wife, and I'm not expecting her to like me or my husband. What I do expect is that she control herself in front of her daughter. But she is very angry and upset over our marriage and has made it very obvious the she is unable to control her temper. And unfortunately she dragged her daughter outside with her in order to yell at my husband. I just watched as she looked around in despair. She started by hitting her mother over and over in the stomach trying to get her attention. But I look up and all she can do is flail her arms around with her eyes about to bug out of her head while she ignores her daughter completely to continue the tirade. The sadness in that little girls face absolutely broke my heart. We received texts from her throughout the night saying how her daughter was screaming and yelling; all in an attempt to make my husband feel bad. But she can't see it. My step-daughter is perfectly fine with us. We don't discuss her mother or show our anger or frustration with her immaturity in her presence. We expected the same from her mother, but that isn't happening. Why is she so angry when she is with her mother? Because she is insulting and yelling about her father in front of her. She screams and yells at her mother and grandparents because they can't control themselves around her. A 3 year old only has one response to listening to someone tear her father apart. She screams and yells, she throws tantrums, she isn't nice to anyone. But she doesn't do any of this with us. So that is what is currently going on. You can see why my level of frustration is high. But what to do about it.

Step One - identify what I don't want so I know what I do want. I don't want to ever see my step-daughter in that kind of pain again. So what I want is to know that she has peace and love in her life regardless of what her mother and grandparents are doing. I want her to know and feel that we all love her so very much. That it is okay that her mommy has a home and her daddy has a home. I want this with all of my being.

Step Two - let what I do want be known to the universe. This is the easy part. I know what I want, so the universe knows it also. I don't have to worry about it.

Step Three - allow the truth of what I want to manifest into my present reality. This is the harder part. It requires that I project and think about what I do want, not what I don't want. That's hard when we are constantly bombarded by my husband's ex and her immature and outrageously childish behavior. Sometimes I feel it just never ends, getting more and more out of control. But, it does that only because I'm not in the right state of mind. The more frustrated I get at her, the less I'm concentrating on my step-daughter's peace. I'm concentrating on her lack of peace. And as the Law of Attraction tells - we get more of what we think and feel. I feel frustration, so does my step-daughter.

Changing this pattern will not be easy, but is extremely important. I really really want my step-daughter to be at peace - so this is what I need to concentrate on. I have to FEEL with all of my being that she is in peace, that this is the only state of being she can be in. I cannot concentrate on what her mother is currently doing. This only brings more of what she is doing into being.

This holds true with anything we want in our lives. These steps can be put to anything. The point is that we decide how we want to feel and feel that way now before we are able to physically see the manifestation for ourselves. The universe hears and answers our requests, but if we turn around and feel the opposite the universe will hear that as well, manifesting what we don't want instead. It takes practice. Start with something small that is easy for you to feel good about right now - you'll see it manifest for you. The faster we are able to truly put ourselves into the good feeling place of already having, the faster the universe will deliver. Do the best that you can. Find things that you can redirect your energy towards that will keep you feeling good. Whether it is meditation, looking at pictures that make you feel happy and good, exercise, music, art, writing. It doesn't matter, just do it and you'll see.

So wish me luck as I give my step-daughter the best gift I can. Peace of mind, joy, laughter, love, family. And if you have a few moments, please send your good feeling intentions to this amazing and most deserving little girl. She is so worth it.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer

This is a great video to watch that gives you wonderful information to take with you if you find yourself at the end of a relationship...especially if you have children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TeJ9s7XmS4

Working and the Law of Attraction

Are you tired of working a job that makes you miserable? I can relate. I had been working for a major university for many years and wasn't finding the job that made me really want to come to work every day. I had glimpses of it from time to time but it never stayed that way. Then after years of searching, learning and applying my various skills I found it. I was no longer just working a job, I had a career! I was excited about coming up with new ideas, pitching new marketing strategies, coming up with new designs. I was learning from a group of amazing mentors who kept my creativity flowing and reaching. I received 2 promotions (title and pay) within the span of 1 year. Practically unheard of in such an economically hard time. But, as has happened time and again, things began to change for the not so better.

Policies started changing, people left jobs and moved on, new people came in who didn't know how to manage groups in a positive direction. I wasn't happy any more. So, I was back to just working a job. I didn't know where to turn...and I began to feel sick. I thought it was nothing but a little stress in the beginning but it soon spiraled out of my control. So by the time the most awful happened (our director was terminated unjustly), I was dealing with a debilitating chronic illness.

I was shocked and outraged. How could all of this be happening to me NOW? Well...let's break it down:

• I'm feeling great in a career I love...I'm going places.
• Things start to happen that I allowed myself to feel crummy about. I was angry and fearful about the future.
• I start to feel sick.
• Situations worsen and I continued to allow myself to feel angry and fearful.
• Bam! Chronic illness arrives.

Did I do this to myself? The answer that I (and no one for that matter) wants to hear is YES. Now, some of you may be thinking, how did I do all of this to myself? I wasn't in total control of the others around me. And my answer would be no, I cannot nor did I try to control the others around me. But I did nothing to control my negative emotions either.

This is the biggy. How we feel can tell us what we are going to attract into our lives. Yes, things are going to happen around us that are not always positive. But how we react to it is completely within our control. And the more we practice staying within the positive the less negative that we will see around us. Negativity cannot survive around those with an enlightened state of being. The term misery loves company is absolutely true. It needs other negative emotions to feed off of. If you don't give it any negativity, if you don't help feed it, it withers into nothing.

So what should I have done? Looking back there were numerous cases of me allowing my anger to get the best of me. I fumed to myself about this person or that person. I joined in on the office gossip and complained until I was blue in the face. I let what a small group of others were doing to directly affect my present. I fed the negativity. And in the end I lost. I lost my career. I lost my health.

For those of you who have followed the Law of Attraction (LOA) you're probably saying, 'Well that's just a shocker'! Well, for me in that moment it was. I could have chosen a different route. I could have continued to network with my mentors, meditated to help keep my inner peace intact, sought advice from those I trusted, listened to my instincts and moved in the direction that FELT better to me. But I didn't. Lesson learned.

But that certainly isn't the end of my story. I'm back in the game with new knowledge. I look at things around me differently. I catch the negativity trying to creep in earlier and actively squash it under my foot like the nasty little bug it is. My ideas of what I want have changed and I'm moving in the direction that feels good. So my spark is returning and because I'm making these choices my life is turning once again into the feel good, joyful, happy to be here place that I've been missing.

So what should you do if you find yourself in a similar situation? Here are a few tips to put you back onto the positive, joyful path you deserve to be on (so this is the part where I am waving my magick wand directly over your head to impart my lessons into your being):

• Acknowledge that you are beautifully imperfect. Having a negative emotion does not mean that it will immediately manifest something horrible in your life. You have to give it momentum (aka your continued attention and thoughts) to allow it to creep into your reality.
• Make a feel good list. Do this today. Make a list of all the things that make you feel good. A place, memory, vacation trip, family, friend, music, meditation, yoga, a hobby. Anything that makes you feel good. Then figure out how you can utilize one or many of these at any time or place. Keep your iPod on you at all times, carry pictures or affirmations in your purse or wallet. Take a minute to do some deep breathing. Just figure it out and start putting these into practice every time you feel a negative emotion creeping in. Don't give it the momentum.
• Regroup. Look at the situation/thing/person from an outsiders point of view. Is there something you might have overlooked? Are there other options you didn't try? Have you considered the side of the other person and what they are experiencing? What would happen if you simply refused to add to the negativity of what appears to be going on? There are always options; what you need to do is find out which feels good to you (or in some cases what feels the least bad) and head in that direction.
• Pay attention to how you are feeling as the situation progresses. Change tactics in order to keep yourself moving in a good feeling place. Do you need to talk to a manager or HR, do you need to seek some advice, maybe have a group discussion to find out what is at the heart of the matter, or maybe you need to consider a new job or complete change of career. All of these ideas are options. 
• Never settle. Life is not meant to be something you just settle for. If you aren't living in joy, you aren't living within the LOA. Keep searching, keep digging, keep exploring. You will find your way.

Do you have any similar experiences? Share them...

Blessed Be!

Digging for Dirt in a Desert

Have you ever noticed yourself or others doing this? Trying to find something about someone else for no other reason than to prove to yourself how horrible the other person is. Usually we see this in ex's; which is what I'm currently in the process of watching. It seems that my step-daughter's mother is on a hunt to find something (anything) she can to use against my husband. The current tactic seems to be that my husband didn't get into a car accident (which he did), that he didn't go through the windshield (which he unfortunately did - but he is okay), and because my husband isn't on my car insurance (because I don't have coverage for anyone other than myself driving the car - $$$), that there is some kind of nefarious issues going on that she must uncover and reveal to the world. Well, maybe just to the court system so she can get sole custody.

It's sad really; to watch her hunting and digging, and hunting and digging. She's trying to find this elusive grain of sand within a desert that will give her the information she is hoping to get - so she can prove what a horrible man my husband is. Maybe she thinks it will make her feel better if she can find something. Maybe she wants to show the world that she isn't the reason that the two of them are no longer together. Regardless, I'm watching this and its really, really sad. I see her working herself up on figments of her imagination and my husband becoming more and more angry and resentful towards his ex. How does this benefit anyone? How is this doing what is best for my precious 3 year old step-daughter? My husband wasn't even one of those dead-beat dads we all hear about or see in our own lives. He's been there since day one, been a stay-at-home dad for the past 2 years. But his ex is trying to portray him to the courts as if he were one of those dead-beat dads that we as mothers just want to take a baseball bat to.

I completely realize that my husband had a hand in breaking up their relationship...just as I had a hand in breaking up my first marriage. Like we are told time and time again, it takes 2 to make it work, and 2 to break it apart. It happens. But hopefully we can learn from it and move on to other relationships with more information. Clearer heads. A better idea of what we do and do not want from ourselves as well as a partner.

One thing I have learned regarding my own broken relationships is that dwelling on the would'ves, should'ves, could'ves, if only's, how could he, that SOB, I hope he rots in ________, fill in the blank with what ever expletive you want, is pointless. It is a complete waste of our time and utterly destructive to our inner peace and hope's of having a positive, loving relationship in the future.

As a Witch we try to live as best we can within the natural laws of nature. Our rule, or version of the 10 commandments as it were, we call our Rede: 'An it harm none, do as thou will'. This rule also applies to ourselves. Continuing in day after day of negative thinking is extremely harmful to ourselves. We know that the mental projections (thoughts) that we release into the universe, will eventually come back to us. People call this by many names: Karma, Law of Nature, Law of Attraction, Will of God are only a few. But regardless of the name you use, the premise is the same. What ever you do/say/think will come back at you at some point. I for one want to try to minimize the negative backlash as much as possible.

But as human beings, we know that we can't stop every negative thought or emotion from forming. It just isn't possible. But we can recognize when we start these negative thoughts and actively do something to calm ourselves down, regroup, and let our thoughts flow in a more positive direction. This insures that even though the negative emotion/thought started - we didn't allow it to build momentum to the point where it goes out of our control. Some people do this with deep breathing, meditation, working out, taking long walks, listening to music or yoga. Really it's anything that makes you FEEL better. And feel is the operative word here.

How we feel tells us whether we are heading into a good place or bad place. If we feel crummy, sad, depressed, angry, hurt (add in any negative emotion you want), then we need to stop the second we recognize it and do what we need to, to regroup and move into the positive. We aren't hurting the other person by fuming about them, we hurt ourselves. And at the end of the day, we have to live with ourselves - not the other person.

I hope that my husband's ex figures this out soon. I hope she realizes how detrimental all of this digging and fighting and lashing out is to herself and unfortunately to her daughter as well. She's told my husband that their daughter is having some severe separation anxieties. She thinks that this is something she can throw in my husbands face to make him feel bad. But what she doesn't see at all is that my step-daughter is having a hard time with the separations because she gets to see her father so infrequently. She doesn't realize that she is the ultimate cause of her daughter's separation anxieties. I hope that she starts seeing the truth soon. I may not like her, or ever want to be close to her - but I don't wish her ill. I don't want her to hurt. I don't want her to suffer. I want her to learn from this and move on to something more positive in her life. She can be happy in her life and not feel constant anger and resentment every time she thinks of my husband, but she is the only one who can make that happen. I hope she does.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer