Like finding the sun shining through in the midst of a storm, we all want to be able to find peace when we are facing turmoil in our lives. So we keep asking ourselves how we can find any kind of inner peace when a storm is raging within us. Our chests are tight and hurt, we become overly sensitive to everything and everyone. One minute we're crying and the next we are exploding over something small and usually meaningless. So how do we do it?
I've been asking myself this very question over the past few days. My husband has a daughter from his previous relationship. She is 3, and beautiful, and wonderful, and smart, and so many more things. I can already see the trouble she is going to cause us when she's a teenager, but I welcome it because I love her so very much. Well - and I already know all the teenage girl tricks because I used them all myself. And I'm going to thoroughly enjoy watching my husband's flustering frustrations as she becomes a young woman. It's going to be quite entertaining.
The turmoil however, is with my lovely step-daughter's mother. I suppose it isn't usual for women to like or get along with their ex's new wife, and I'm not expecting her to like me or my husband. What I do expect is that she control herself in front of her daughter. But she is very angry and upset over our marriage and has made it very obvious the she is unable to control her temper. And unfortunately she dragged her daughter outside with her in order to yell at my husband. I just watched as she looked around in despair. She started by hitting her mother over and over in the stomach trying to get her attention. But I look up and all she can do is flail her arms around with her eyes about to bug out of her head while she ignores her daughter completely to continue the tirade. The sadness in that little girls face absolutely broke my heart. We received texts from her throughout the night saying how her daughter was screaming and yelling; all in an attempt to make my husband feel bad. But she can't see it. My step-daughter is perfectly fine with us. We don't discuss her mother or show our anger or frustration with her immaturity in her presence. We expected the same from her mother, but that isn't happening. Why is she so angry when she is with her mother? Because she is insulting and yelling about her father in front of her. She screams and yells at her mother and grandparents because they can't control themselves around her. A 3 year old only has one response to listening to someone tear her father apart. She screams and yells, she throws tantrums, she isn't nice to anyone. But she doesn't do any of this with us. So that is what is currently going on. You can see why my level of frustration is high. But what to do about it.
Step One - identify what I don't want so I know what I do want. I don't want to ever see my step-daughter in that kind of pain again. So what I want is to know that she has peace and love in her life regardless of what her mother and grandparents are doing. I want her to know and feel that we all love her so very much. That it is okay that her mommy has a home and her daddy has a home. I want this with all of my being.
Step Two - let what I do want be known to the universe. This is the easy part. I know what I want, so the universe knows it also. I don't have to worry about it.
Step Three - allow the truth of what I want to manifest into my present reality. This is the harder part. It requires that I project and think about what I do want, not what I don't want. That's hard when we are constantly bombarded by my husband's ex and her immature and outrageously childish behavior. Sometimes I feel it just never ends, getting more and more out of control. But, it does that only because I'm not in the right state of mind. The more frustrated I get at her, the less I'm concentrating on my step-daughter's peace. I'm concentrating on her lack of peace. And as the Law of Attraction tells - we get more of what we think and feel. I feel frustration, so does my step-daughter.
Changing this pattern will not be easy, but is extremely important. I really really want my step-daughter to be at peace - so this is what I need to concentrate on. I have to FEEL with all of my being that she is in peace, that this is the only state of being she can be in. I cannot concentrate on what her mother is currently doing. This only brings more of what she is doing into being.
This holds true with anything we want in our lives. These steps can be put to anything. The point is that we decide how we want to feel and feel that way now before we are able to physically see the manifestation for ourselves. The universe hears and answers our requests, but if we turn around and feel the opposite the universe will hear that as well, manifesting what we don't want instead. It takes practice. Start with something small that is easy for you to feel good about right now - you'll see it manifest for you. The faster we are able to truly put ourselves into the good feeling place of already having, the faster the universe will deliver. Do the best that you can. Find things that you can redirect your energy towards that will keep you feeling good. Whether it is meditation, looking at pictures that make you feel happy and good, exercise, music, art, writing. It doesn't matter, just do it and you'll see.
So wish me luck as I give my step-daughter the best gift I can. Peace of mind, joy, laughter, love, family. And if you have a few moments, please send your good feeling intentions to this amazing and most deserving little girl. She is so worth it.
Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer
This is a great video to watch that gives you wonderful information to take with you if you find yourself at the end of a relationship...especially if you have children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TeJ9s7XmS4
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