Raising Witchlings Series: A Witches Legacy

Published on Examiner.com / December 28, 2013
A legacy is something passed down from the past. Usually we think of property, money, inheritances or even positions or titles but a legacy is something so much more. It is the essence of who we were during our lifetime. Usually our legacy is something we think of regarding our children and grandchildren. During this Yuletide season have you thought of what your legacy is? What you would like it to be?

Do we ever stop to think what our legacy is to our children on a daily basis? How kind were we, how compassionate were we, how well did we really listen to our children's needs, how forgiving, how loving. An act of a minutes anger can leave our children with a legacy of mistrust. Many acts of anger, whether towards our children or others in our lives, can insure that the legacy we leave behind is not a positive one.

Yes, a nice inheritance may be nice for our children but our daily actions and how we handle our lives are what is really important. Our children should know that life is meant to be joyful and fun, not overrun with heartache and misery. Others do not steer our course, only we have the ability to choose what direction we take in any given situation. We can choose joy or we can choose misery and disappointment.

The holidays can be such a stressful time for so many, but when we take the time to consider our ancestors and the legacy they gave us - in many ways they have shown us what this winter season was truly meant for. Yule is the point of rebirth and renewal. It is a time to slow down, travel less, contemplate more. What have we done over the past year? What will we do with the next year?

Are we angry a lot or in a regular state of depression? Do we blame others for what they have forced onto our life? Do we argue and fight, allow guilt and overwhelming obligations to family and friends dictate what we do in our daily lives? What does this tell our children? That life just isn't all that great. That to grow up is to feel pain and suffer. That to have anything good in our lives is selfish and not within our control. That others have the power to steer our future in any direction they choose.

This is not a legacy worth sharing. As a Witch, I can only speak to a Witches legacy. What I have learned within my life and spiritual practices. That God is seen in many faces and many forms. That my way is not the only way, nor the only true, correct way. That no one has the ability to steer my future unless I hand them my power - which I will not do. That to care for myself, to make myself my top priority is not selfish but the only way to live my true and authentic life. That life is meant to be joyful and fun. That I have infinite possibilities and it is only my inability to believe in these possibilities that holds me back. That everyone deserves the right to be happy and I have no right to demand that they should do as I say or want. That honesty with compassion, even if difficult to speak, is always the better choice. That many times it is best to stay silent and just listen. That everyone has a right to their own opinion no matter how opposite or irrational it may seem to me. That I need no one to speak for me or dictate to me how I need to see God because the source of our creation flows through me every second of every day whether I feel it or not. That every day I have a new chance to change my fate and bring absolute abundance into my life. That the laws that are enacted, the wars that are fought, the religions that preach sin and hatred of others who are different come from a place so detached from what we call God that they are not worth my attention. That every relationship we form is eternal and even if painful, it is a lesson we needed. It is a lesson to see what we really want and take the leap of faith to have it is always worth it.

These are some of the larger life lessons that I would choose for my legacy. There are smaller ones as well such as, television and the media are really a waste of time and only stand in the way of life's joy. Animals and pets really do make life a better place. We can learn a lot from the innocent joy of our children and our emotions are our way of figuring out whether we are heading in the right direction or not. Meditation is the best and fastest way to connect with the gods and our true selves, magick is very real and not something in fairytales and fancies and no matter what path my children choose in life - I will always stand behind them with love and support whether I am here in this physical body or not.

If I can leave my children with this knowledge, if they can know with absolute certainty that they really can have everything they want in life, I will be handing them the world. I do not want them to see my pain or anger at another as an excuse to feel the same - or worse, an excuse to build a wall around themselves to keep those experiences at a 'safe' distance. Whether it be towards a family member, a spouse, a friend, an ex, the teller at the bank or the stranger walking down the street - all of our experiences are valuable to us. All of these experiences and relationships help us see more and more clearly what we want in life. They give us goals and aspirations. Yes, even the painful ones. We experience the things in life we do not want, which allows us to strive for what we do want. Without these experiences how would we truly know our true selves? The trick is to see what we don't want and as quickly as possible begin thinking and feeling our way in the direction of what we do want, one baby step at a time. To spend our days going over the what if's, how could they have done/said that to me, what could have been different - these do nothing but keep us trapped in the past and we can never be happy in the past. To keep ourselves in a place of anger, depression, vengeance and hatred will only bring more of those things into our lives. To allow what someone else said or did to pave the path of our future, to so completely submit ourselves to someone else's control is so beneath us all. This is not what we would ever want to pass on to our children, but we will if we do not show them a better way.

As a Witch I know that what I call God and Goddess is just the form that feels right and true for me. This may not be true for my children, and that is alright as long as they are following the path that feels right to them. As a Witch I know that I hold magick within my very essence and I want to share this with my children. As a Witch I know that what I do, say, think and feel return to me threefold and that I want the good to flow naturally to my children while the bad are distant and foreign to them. As a Witch, an ordained minister and High Priestess I've seen many different paths and forms of Paganism and even among ourselves we can disagree on the right way to call the quarters, invoke the God and Goddess, celebrate the Esbats and Sabbats, set up an alter, cleanse and consecrate our sacred space and tools and teach our children our path. But I know that there is no one way or right way of doing any of these things. When we calm our minds and reach for our connection with the God/Goddess we will do what is right for us, in the way that is right for us because there has never been only one way and there never will be. As a Witch I know that the diversity that surrounds us is our greatest strength and asset and never something to demean, hate or fear. As a Witch I know that the relationships and interactions I have on a daily basis, the good ones and even more so the bad ones, will show my children what life is. What life can become and even more importantly, what they can expect from life within these physical bodies during this lifetime.

As Wiccan/Pagan/Witches and as parents we know that what we call reality is such a subjective term. What is reality except what is in this exact moment? But now that moment is gone and it is the next with its reality, but again that is now gone and the next moment of reality is upon us. And why exactly do we need to put every ounce of energy into the right now when we could be allowing the right now to reform an even more joyful future by not allowing the right now, the reality of each and every moment, to hold us back from our birthright as human beings living on this planet in this time and place? Our birthright as the very essence of creation, of the God and Goddess themselves, is to live in joy and love and happiness. If enough of us can share this knowledge and wisdom with our children, the evils of this world, the bad of this world, would no longer have the feeling and emotion to sustain itself within our reality.

This is the legacy I choose to strive for, for myself and for my children. Not one of bickering and arguing, of guilt and selfish obligations, of harsh words and un-forgiveness, of allowing others to dictate my feelings and emotions, of pain and misery, of mourning and living in a past that is no more. Of working hard and fighting my way through life rather than flowing with it, in destroying rather than creating, of no second chances. This is not the life for me, nor the legacy I will leave behind. My legacy is that of a Witch.

Have you taken time to think of the daily legacy you leave with your children? This is the perfect time, the perfect season, the perfect chance. No regrets, no second thoughts of the past and what could have or should have been - just what you will do this day, this moment. All else is irrelevant and not worth our attention for one second longer. Don't just leave a legacy behind once you are no longer in your current physical body, live it each and every day.

Published on Examiner.com / December 28, 2013

See other articles in the 'Raising Witchlings' series at http://www.examiner.com/user/6063731/content

Brightest Blessings )0(
the Witchy Writer

Modern Day Witch Hunt

Why is it that when we end a relationship our first reaction is to concentrate all of our energy on what went wrong? What made us angry, hurt, disappointed, enraged, depressed and even to the point of becoming vengeful? Why, as a human race, can't we see this ending for what it really is - a fresh start. An open door to new experiences, learned lessons and the ability to find someone who really will match up to who we are.

We let our anger consume us at the end, why? It's over now. No more need to argue, fight your battles, share your time and space with them. Why can't we just say, 'Whew! That was a rough, but now I'm moving forward into something so much better and healthier for me.' But no, we hang onto the rage and anger as if it's some kind of life line. This isn't who we are!

We may think we want to see our ex's as inherently evil beings, but they aren't. We are all inherently good people. We don't respond to well to anger and rage and hurt. We respond to kindness, compassion, friendship and respect. None of us are bad people. We may make bad decisions, but those decisions do not make up who and what we really are.

"It seems that human beings

have been hard wired through

the years to speak of, think about

and act on our pain far more than

we do our pleasure."

It seems that human beings have been hard wired through the years to speak of, think about and act on our pain far more than we do our pleasure. There's just something so wrong with this conclusion. I like to think that we are changing this...time will tell.

Reacting to pain makes our lives so much more difficult, but add children to the mix and you're harboring a storm that deep down none of us want to experience or see our children be forced to live through. But it again, it goes back to that hard wiring. It can be difficult to fight those urges, even when children are suffering because of it.

We will have people move in and out of our lives for eternity, some feel good, some don't. It can feel worse when the person was in an intimate relationship with you, but if they're no longer in that kind of relationship with you - it was for a reason and you probably feel better without that person there all the time if you will only take the time to consider that possibility.

"Harboring anger and resentment

only truly hurts the one harboring it -

not the one on the receiving end."

Harboring anger and resentment only truly hurts the one harboring it - not the one on the receiving end. But we find ourselves out to forcibly prove to the world how horrible this person was and continues to be. But that just isn't true. They may not have been the best mate for you, but that doesn't mean they'll be alone forever - nor will you remain alone and unattached for the rest of your life. Love is out there for everyone even if one or both of your royally screwed up in past relationships. Learn from them and keep moving forward. Don't waste your time and energy attacking the past, digging for dirt and keeping yourself in such a negative place. You suffer, the children suffer, everyone suffers. That is not how life is meant to be.

 

"We turn our past relationships into

modern day Witch hunts."

We turn our past relationships into modern day Witch hunts. We can spend hours of our day hunting and searching for some lost hidden secret about the other person, slandering and spewing venom at someone who is no longer there. But there must be something...anything that you can use to prove that you had no fault in any of this. Yeah right...

And it doesn't have to be strictly someone from a past intimate relationship: ex-lover's, ex-spouse's, ex-friend's, ex-coworker's, ex-boss's. There will be a never ending stream of ex's that leave your life, and we seem to believe that if they have left our life for any negative reason we have to shout to the world how bad it was. How horrible this person was to you. How you didn't deserve to be treated that way. Even if we were the one at fault. Why? Does is change what happened? Does it make the other person feel regret and sorrow at their supposed actions? Probably not. In fact, if they find out you've taken it upon yourself to inform the world of who you think they are they'll most likely do the exact same to you. And the cycle of anger continues... Well that's helpful. Don't we all just feel so much better now...yes - this is sarcasm.

"We need to break the cycle before it breaks us."

We need to break the cycle before it breaks us. It's disappointing that our culture talks of all the bad in the world and so little of the good. One day, I hope that this will be reversed. I think the world would be a much better place if this were true. We all need to take a deep breath, relax and take an honest look at the ex's in our lives. They aren't worth all the bashing and digging and spewing - they just aren't. And really, like attracts like. If this is what you are doing then guess what's going to be happening to you in the very near future? You got it. Call it karma, God's will, Nature, Law of Attraction - it's all the same thing. What we put out in this world returns to us. We need to keep this in our minds when in the process of an ending of something/someone in our lives.

Breaking this cycle can seem monumentally impossible when you are in the thick of one of these endings. But try to take more deep breaths, get more fresh air, talk less, listen more. Especially to those around you who are also in their own ending of a relationship. Just listen to what is going on, see the stress and anxiety it puts the person through, see how no matter what they say or do it never seems to get better. Now take a long hard look in a mirror and see if that person is also you. It isn't worth it.

I know it's hard to step back, but when you start watching others and seeing first hand how futile the entire episode is, it'll give you a very different perspective on your own ex's. For those on the receiving end of the digging and spewing - sure, maybe they get a little ticked at first but eventually it just turns into one big joke. Okay, what will so-and-so think of next? It becomes this waiting game to see what kind of stupidity they other person tries to fling at you. And then you laugh, which makes the other person even angrier, and they try harder...and on and on and on...

"We need to step away and stop engaging."

We need to step away and stop engaging. If this person is an ex, then they are in the past. Leave it there. There must be something in your life that is more interesting. Just turn your back and walk away. Life will be so much better and sweeter if you do. And if the ex can't stop their cycle, not your problem. You stopped yours and your life is better for it. You aren't responsible for theirs.

Raising Witchlings Series: Being a Single Parent

 

Published on Examiner.com / November 5, 2013

 

Being a single parent, Pagan or not, comes with endless challenges. When a woman gets pregnant the thought typically isn't that you'll be parenting without a mate beside you. Soon to be fathers don't think they'll need to see their children from a distance. But, things happen, relationships end and both parents find themselves trying to navigate the world of single parenthood.

Parents see this amazing child in front of them. Someone they will love and even lay down their life for in an instant, but at the same time feel so many negative emotions swirling around within them regarding the other parent no longer there. The emotions that immediately come to mind are anger, frustration, confusion, blame/guilt, inadequacy, jealousy and even hatred.

Many parents, mothers and fathers alike, feel an intense need to punish the other for the hurts and disappointments from the past relationship. Some can feel these emotions and work through them, for others however, it can become so consuming that it's all they can think about. There really isn't a right or wrong way to feel these emotions. They are yours and you'll feel them in the way you need to, but your actions are completely under your control regardless of your present emotions or actions of others.

This is where some parents have a problem. Your actions DO NOT have to mirror your emotions - and YOU CAN change your emotions from negative to positive. As hard or impossible as this seems at times, it can be done. However, we are also all human beings and some of our most valuable learning opportunities are through the mistakes we make in our lives.

It can be extremely difficult to see your own part in the ending of a relationship, but it does take two. Have you ever just stopped long enough to meditate on your past relationship and the emotions you are currently having? What comes up for you? Can you find your own pattern in the relationships you've had previously that didn't work out?

This step can take time and real effort on your part. But the more you see how you both projected your feelings and emotions into the starting of and ending of the relationship the easier it is to let go of what was and concentrate on what is.

In the mean time, you're still dealing with a lot of hurt feelings and negative emotions. A very typical response seen over and over again is one parent limiting or cutting off access to the children in order to 'teach the other parent a lesson'. But let's be frank about this - it doesn't work. Yes, it hurts the other parent but it also pisses them off. Not a good way to get them to work with you on co-parenting your children. Let's face it, it may feel great in the moment but karma has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. Don't mix your bad karma with your children's lives. The children are the ones that get the brunt of the punishments in these petty arguments.

Here are a few other areas to try and stay clear of:

• Continuous arguing. Whether its done in front of the children or not, they feel it. The spats back and forth do nothing to make the situation better and only keep both parents in a very negative place regarding each other and inevitably - the children. Children can begin to feel like they need to take sides; betraying one of their parents for the other. Do you really want your kids to feel this way? These arguments are what makes it impossible to come to a compromise on the important issues with the children, and can inevitably wind up as long drawn out court battles.
• Snotty remarks. Making snotty remarks and constantly trying to test the others patience in texts, emails or verbally is not only childish, but counter-productive. We, as Pagan parents, understand the Law of Attraction (or the Laws of Nature) very well. We know that what we put out there will be returned to us. So if you want your child's other parent to make similar remarks to you causing you more stress, anger and frustration - go for it. But honestly, not very many of us really want that. So as hard as it may seem, treat them how you want to be treated. It's the only way to get what you want.
• Allowing others to cut down the other parent. It may seem natural that your parents, friends or even co-workers know all the hideous details of the ending of the relationship and of course side with you on everything. They want all the juicy details from each interaction and you're probably more than happy to comply. This however is not what you want to do. The more you talk about all of the things you don't want, the more you'll wind up getting them. If they ask, just let them know that the two of you are trying your best towards working things out and you just don't want to talk about it. This is just one more way to keep yourself in a negative place. So don't do it.
• Saying negative things in front of or to the kids about the other parent. It's been seen way too many times in the courts - one parent telling the kids horrible things about the other parent in the hopes of scaring them into not wanted to go on visitations or sleep-overs, or to just make the other parent look bad. Any parent who would be willing to put their own child through distress to hurt the other parent seriously needs to get their priorities checked. It's not as if you can't say these things. If they're just ready to burst from you step away from the kids, out of earshot, and yell it out loud, write it out and burn it. Just keep the remarks and opinions away from the kids.
• Continue talking about what is going on. Why, if you put yourself into a negative place every time you mention your ex, do you continue to talk about each and every little thing that happens to anyone who will listen? Really? What is the point? Every time you delve into your relationship with your ex you're taking yourself back to hurt feelings, anger, disappointment and depression. Yeah, that's a fun place to be. If you really need to discuss these things try talking to a counselor who can help you release these negative feelings. We don't need well meaning friends and family enabling us in a destructive pattern of negativity. Once you're able to step away emotionally from what happened, from personal experience, you'll be able to discuss your past relationship without the emotional baggage.

When we have children, our relationship with the other parent never ends, it just restructures itself into a different kind of relationship. In good times and bad, we will need to interact with the other parent on issues involving our children at least until they are legal adults - it's just a fact of having children. It can be difficult and emotional but we really can turn things around in order to get along with the other parent. We don't need to try for a warm fuzzy friendship (unless that's what you really want) but at the very least you can be cordial to them. The less drama you bring to this restructured relationship the less you'll get in return.

This is not a competition. Your children's relationship with their other parent is not the same one you had with them. They love both of their parents and do not (nor should they be) put in the middle of a power struggle between the two of you.

It's very difficult when you don't know every detail of what is going on with your children when they are with the other parent, but they really are okay. Yes, they will have different toys and play different games but this does not mean they love one of you more than the other. Children are just trying to find their place in this new restructured relationship. The better you are at communicating and working with the other parent the better you're children will feel about the changes that have happened. Another benefit - children are master manipulators when they want something, by having the skills to co-parent effectively you won't have issues with your children trying to play one parent off the other.

Stop concentrating on everything your ex did or did not do. You are probably not going to get all the answers you want regarding your break-up. These questions are just going to have to be laid to rest. A very difficult concept for so many parents to wrap their heads around is that it just doesn't matter any longer. You want answers, you want to understand what on earth was going on in your ex's head. But, you are no longer a couple. Couples need to communicate and discuss their actions and words. This is no longer the case. Neither of you are required to justify anything you said or did from your past together. Now, you are only parents. And what would be the point of it - really? The priority is the children, not your past relationship.

So what can we do to help us get through the negative emotions swirling around? Look at your children. Watch their happiness and joy at being able to see both parents regularly, at seeing both parents communicating and handling all the adult stuff that they don't need to be concerned with. Watch how happy they are when they get to see the other parent and listen about the fun times they had. Yes - there may be some jealousy creeping in at first, but just keep the attention on your kids. Your kids continued happiness will keep you in alignment. This alone could be the very thing that breaks the chain of negativity within you. They may have been horrible as a spouse or lover, but they seem to be a pretty damn good parent, even with all of their flaws.

Use the experiences as learning opportunities. As Pagan parents there are so many ways to use our own powers to let go of the drama and baggage and reconnect with the priorities that really matter - our children.

• Talking things out with your HP or other clergy could be a good start.
• Design a ritual to release negativity towards your ex.
• Meditate more.
• Celebrate the times you get to be alone, with peace and quiet. As parents we see that time so infrequently. Rejoice in it.
• Perform a rebirthing ritual for yourself into this new life transition. You are only responsible for your happiness, and as long as that is your goal everyone else around you will benefit from it.
• Design a spell or ritual to keep the negativity away from your children during this transition.

These are only a few examples. Do what feels right to you. If you're part of a Coven, ask for their assistance in these matters. Pooling everyone's energies together can be of great benefit to you and the children.

When your children ask questions. Okay, it's going to happen at some point. Your children will start asking questions about the changes going on. What do you tell them? The answer to that is much simpler than you think. Tell them the truth. Age appropriate, but the truth. But also, only the truth regarding YOUR feelings and actions. You can't answer for the other parent, they need to be the one to do that. So it really is okay to say 'I don't know. You'll need to ask mommy/daddy.' And then let the other parent know what questions have been asked so they can be prepared to answer them. Some questions that may come up:

• Why don't I have a daddy/mommy? Your daddy/mommy doesn't know how to be a good daddy/mommy, he/she still has to learn how to do that. But if they do learn, then they will be able to be in our lives. You deserve the best kind of daddy/mommy.
• Why aren't mommies and daddies together? Mommies and daddies love each other very much, and they are also the very best of friends. Sometimes mommies and daddies can't seem to figure out how to be best friends any more. Then they sometimes argue a lot and no one likes that. So they decide to live in separate homes so they don't argue and fight any more. The mommies and daddies feel better and now the children get to have 2 homes to live in. This means 2 rooms, 2 sets of toys, 2 holiday celebrations. It's like double the fun for the kids.
• Is mommy/daddy ever coming home? (If you aren't considering a reconciliation, don't give them false hope.) Probably not. We are much happier living in separate homes. We don't want to argue any more, and this makes sure we can both be there for you. We love you so much that even though these changes are hard right now, we know we'll all be much happier this way. We just can't be best friends any more but everything is going to be alright.
• Why does mommy/daddy have another family? (This is a very emotional question, but hang in there.) Because they wanted to be a part of your family. Your mommy/daddy met someone who they could be best friends with and love very much. They decided to join your family because they love and care for you too. They don't have a new family, they just added to the family you already have.
• Don't you love mommy/daddy any more? (Again, no false hopes if a reconciliation isn't a possibility.) I will always love them because they helped me bring you into this world. But I don't love them the same way I did when we were best friends and that probably isn't going to change.

These are only a small sampling of the kinds of questions children typically ask there parents when a separation occurs. It's important that children understand the truth of what is going on without all the drama and highly emotional details that go along with separations. Our children don't need to know the dirty details of it, just that both parents are happier apart and can continue to love and support them in every way. We don't need to make up stories or give false hope and we don't have to answer questions that are better answered by the other parent. The only job we have is to take care of ourselves and our happiness so we can take care of our children to the best of our abilities.

Separations and divorces are very emotional for everyone involved. Even  though a relationship has ended, that doesn't mean that you as parents aren't going to be able to raise your children together. You get from any relationship what you put into it and this is one of the most important relationships you will ever have. Whether a reconciliation is foreseeable in the future or not your jobs are to parent your children to the very best of your abilities. If you need to carry a picture of your children on you at all times so when/if you start to feel overly negative about your ex you can pull it out and look at their smiling faces - do it. They are what matters, they are the priority. We as parents have the hardest jobs in the world but also the most rewarding when we can see the joy and happiness that we have helped bring into our children's lives. Keep that as your focus and you'll be able to make it through the storm of separation.

Helpful Links
2houses.com
Canadian Co-Parenting Centre
Tips for Co-Parenting After a Separation or Divorce
Dr. Phil - Advice - Co-Parenting

Published on Examiner.com / November 5, 2013

Raising Witchlings Series: Religious Freedom and Our Kids

"Don't be afraid to be open-minded, your brain isn't going to fall out." ~author unknown

Published on Examiner.com / October 20, 2013

We all want our children to be safe in this world. We go to great lengths to teach our children about looking both ways before crossing the street, not to talk to strangers, no running with scissors and holding the railings on stairwells among just a few. What parents who subscribe to one of the many Judeo-Christian religions do not have to worry about is their children's safety regarding their or their parents religious and spiritual beliefs. As Pagan parents, we do. It is unfortunate, but too many Pagan parents have to worry about their children possibly being bullied at school for their families religious beliefs. Too many have to worry about what their children will say in public. Not all communities are open to various faiths that do not follow the same tenants. Careers have been ruined over an individuals personal spiritual beliefs because of ignorance and fear of beliefs that seem foreign and wrong to others. And far worse, religious freedom is dragged into too many courts of law. Pagan parents can find themselves having to fight for their right to believe what is right for them and still be able to have access to their children.

Parents separate and divorce; leaving children to be fought over in a tug of war that hurts everyone involved. Most especially the children. It can be hard enough to be civil to one another during a divorce, but throw in religion and the courts are forced to make decisions they are ill equipped to make; nor does any judge want to have to make these kinds of decisions. Church and State are kept separate for good reason. But, when an angry parent feels justified in making their ex 'pay for what they've done to them', everyone must suffer.

Whether your major concerns involve the school systems, the workplace, your community or the court of law, you need to know what your rights are. Knowledge is power. Knowing what the laws are in your state/province is not only for your and your children's protection, but it can give parents confidence to stand strong against religious bigotry and persecution and a sense of ease regarding others outside of your immediate circle of friends and family knowing what you believe.

So, how do we protect our children?

Where to start? We are all probably fairly knowledgeable on the views of our communities. This can give us a look into what we may expect in the school systems. Some of us are comfortable with staying quiet, others are more than happy to stir the pot and announce to the world exactly who and what they are, and be damned their 'views'. But we're talking about the safety and emotional well-being of our children, so our personal views on how open we will be can change. Many Pagan parents look at private schools like Montessori for their children because such a large majority of schools are Christian or Catholic based. Just because the law may be on your side, the community or school board or work place can make being in their vicinity a living nightmare. How much are we willing to take? How much are we willing to put our children through?

Teaching our children about ignorance and fear in society.

Our children need to be taught that there are people in this world who do not understand Pagan beliefs. They see what is in the movies, or scary ghost stories and believe that is what we are. It scares them. We don't need to correct them, just let them be. We'll all take the approach with our children that we know will work best, but this is a discussion that cannot wait until after it happens. Preventative measures need to be taken. You'll feel better and your children will feel more confident in themselves as they move through their life.

Yes, those of us, the Pagan parents, see all of this as ridiculous. We see divinity within nature; now that's just frightening. We are proponents for gender equality in the mundane world and so it only makes sense that this equality would include our religious world. Where some see God and the Virgin Mary, we see God and the Goddess. Equal, partners, co-creators, balance. What a horrible thought. We teach to 'Harm None'. Wow, the audacity of Pagan parents. We teach that everyone has a right to their own religious and spiritual beliefs even if they contradict our own. How awful! Non-pagans think we hold scary rituals inciting demons and other such nonsense. We wear robes and have candles and incense.

So let's all take a trip to the nearest Catholic service and watch their priests in robes and funky pointed hats, with their gold staffs, chalices of wine and plates of cakes. Swinging their noxious incense around them, all the while chanting in Latin which I doubt anyone understands. For all we know their inciting damnation on the heads of everyone there.

Now let's flip through the pages of our old history textbooks and see where exactly our upstanding Catholic priests got their basic structure and means of dress for their services. Oh yes, here it is. From the Pagan faiths before them.

Yes, we Pagan parents are a scary lot. Celebrating the seasonal changes, seeing the divine in everything and teaching our children that they have more control over their life and environment than they may think. But there are those who feel justified in their religious persecution so it's best that we all know our rights.

Learn the laws in your area now rather than later.

Yes, we can still see and feel the absurdity of it all, but being prepared certainly won't hurt. Start with locating the laws in your area. These links will help you with the information you need:
Religious Freedom - US Department of State
Canada's Office of Religious Freedom
United Kingdom Rights and Policies on Religious Freedom
Ireland 2012 International Religious Freedom Report
Australian Human Rights Commission

If you are faced with family court and custody issues involving Pagan beliefs, the best resource is the Lady Liberty League. They specialize in Pagan rights and can assist you with resources and even legal council if deemed necessary.

So find out where you stand in the eyes of the law where you live. Just keep all of the information in a file in case you ever need to use or reference it. The hope is that we never have to use it, but if we do, it's there and ready for us. Be prepared to have it on hand for school boards, employers, community facilities, unions and the court of law. It never hurts to be overly prepared.

What if the attack comes from an ex?

Start with the rights in your state/province and contact the LLL. There have been custody cases that have ranged from Pagan parents divorcing, one has 'found God' and is going to use Paganism and Witchcraft to win custody of the children; to interfaith families that decide to use the others Pagan faith against them in family court; to nonreligious couples divorcing, one remarries a Pagan/Wiccan/Witch, and the ex is going to try to get the kids by using this in court.

The worst part of this entire situation is the pain that it causes the children. One parent is doing everything they can to limit the visitations with the other parent; justifying this with outrageous claims, persecuting the other based on religion. The children see it, and worse, they feel it.

It takes time and diligence, but it is possible to insure your rights and safety of your children. To be together as a family. To feel confident and secure within yourselves regardless of the mess others are making of their own lives.

So what can we do after all the legalities are taken care of or are in motion?

Pagans tend to have a fairly good understanding of what is now being called the 'Law of Attraction'. What we put out into the world will come back to us. We may not always feel it, but we really do have the ability to choose our emotions regardless of what others are doing.

Where our children are concerned, anything an ex does or says that implies your losing them in some way is hitting below the belt. We become very emotional very quickly, but we can calm this down. If we immediately react every time with anger, sadness, rage, hatred, a need for revenge - that's what we're putting out into the Universe. So those are the things that are going to come back to us. If you can find a way to remember that the emotions you put into your dealings with your ex will be the same ones that are returned to you, you can get a better perspective on the situation. Every time you respond with anger you are literally handing all of your power to another person. Why on earth would anyone want to willingly do that? Especially if that means you're handing your power over on a silver platter to your ex.

Some tips for keeping your negative emotions at bay:

• Deep breathing helps to release endorphins, the bodies natural feel-good painkillers in addition to increasing blood flow which allows you to be more focused; relieving anxiety and fear.
• Stop talking about it with everyone you see. Notice that when you speak about it, your emotions go right back to the place of anger. So stop it!
• Find ways of distracting yourself away from your negative emotions. Stay away from the news channel, friends and family who only want to complain or hear about how horrible your life may be at this moment. Read a good book, watch a comedy, play with your pet. Anything that will turn your emotions in a more positive direction.
• Go to sleep each night reviewing everything you are grateful for, you'll wake up in that same grateful mood.
• Slow down and enjoy what you have surrounding you in this very moment. If you can't be grateful for what you have right now, you can't draw more of it into your life.
• Meditate regularly. Meditation has been proven to help people with focus and highly emotional situations. It's one of the easiest ways to relax and get ourselves back on track.

Final words...

In this day and age and with so much information available regarding the numerous Pagan beliefs and religious systems one would think the ability to persecute someone for being Pagan would be long gone. This is certainly coming in the future, so in the mean time we Pagan parents need to know and understand our rights. We need to know how open we want our children to be and to be prepared to deal with the schools and community if needed. And we need to consider our role in the lives of any child who comes into our lives, either through our children's friends or step-children that join our families. Knowledge is power and the more we know the better prepared we will be in protecting our rights and those of our children. Brightest Blessings.


Published on Examiner.com / October 20, 2013 

the Witchy Writer

Raising Witchlings Series: Being a Pagan Bonus Mom

Published on Examiner.com / September 26, 2013 

Being a step-mom can be challenging; being a Pagan step-mom has its own unique challenges. You need to tread lightly when it comes to your partner's ex. What you say and what you expose your step-child to could potentially be used against you and your partner in regards to faith, beliefs and holidays. It is not just a case of dealing with an ex who will at times (hopefully not all the time) allow jealousy and bitterness to take full control of her actions; spewing venom in all directions and putting an unnecessary burden on the children. It can be a rarity to find a woman who is actually happy that their ex has moved on and found someone. So in the midst of the emotional tornado that must be dealt with, you must also figure out how to tread the waters of sharing your faith with your step-children.

So how do you deal with this situation? 

First, know your legal rights for the area you live. A good organization that can help you find out is the Lady Liberty League. The LLL is an international religious freedom and civil rights organization who help Pagans, Wiccan's and other nature religion practitioners with legal issues regarding their chosen faith and/or spiritual practices. Don't wait until something happens to find out about your legal rights, do it now. Some states/provinces are not as open as others and you and your partner need to know if an ex could potentially try to bring some kind of  trumped up legal action against either of you. It is unfortunate, but the safest answer to this challenge may be to keep your religion secret.

Second, once you know your legal rights sit down with your partner and discuss how you want to incorporate (or not) your step-children. You have a right to your religious and spiritual beliefs, but we also know that sharing them openly is not always a safe thing to do. Discuss how you will be able to practice your beliefs in the home when your step-children are present. Do you have children of your own who practice with you? How do you incorporate them? Can the same be done with your step-children? Or, is there a way of lessening some of the ritual aspects of your celebrations and practices when your step-children are present to make it more comfortable for everyone?

Hammering out these details in advance will make the home situation much calmer. It will also put you and your partner on the same page so if the ex tries to do or say anything you know your partner has your back. But if the ex is absolutely against her children having anything to do with your spiritual or religious practices (be prepared for this reaction) then you and your partner should come up with a plan for how that will be accomplished. It will most likely be unrealistic that the children not know what your faith is, but you and your partner can be the bigger people and work around this challenge no matter how unfair the demand.

Third, take it slow. Introduce your step-children (if you decide to) slowly. Start with celebrating the changes of the season without incorporating any religious or ritual practices. Allow your step-children to see your practices as a natural extension of nature. No cackling, green skin or warts for them to report to their mother. And if that goes well than continue to introduce a little more each holiday.

One of the more difficult aspects to contend with for any step-mother (or bonus mom) is ensuring that their partner's children feel included when they are with you. A sure fire way of making sure they do not like you is if they wind up feeling like their father went out and 'found' a new family. It shouldn't feel like an 'us and them' situation when they are visiting. You and your children are now a part of their family, and families stick together no matter how many different homes they are spread throughout.

An interesting and enlightening article to read whether you are the bonus mom or the biological mom, (especially if you are the biological mom), is '7 Reasons Not to Hate Your Child's Stepmom'. You don't need to be seen, nor should you be, as 'the competition'. You are not there to steel another mom's children from her. As a bonus mom, you are just that. A bonus. One more person who will unconditionally love these children. Who only wants the best for them. Hopefully there will be a time when the ex can let go of past hurts and mistakes, forgive for their own sake, and be happy that you and your partner are giving the children a stable and diverse home for them to grow up in. It can be done.

Published on Examiner.com / September 26, 2013

Trying to Stay in a Good Place

I love both of my children with all my heart. It doesn't matter that my daughter is not mine by blood, she is technically my 'step' daughter, but my children are 'my children'. I love them equally. They are both my family.

My husband and I got to spend the Autumnal Equinox with both of our children. My husband asked his ex for 1 extra hour so our daughter could spend more time with family (my mother-in-law celebrated with us and very rarely gets to see our daughter because she lives with her biological mother). She refused because spending this seasonal holiday with me is not a family activity in her opinion. She said that this is just "my religious event" and has nothing to do with our daughter.

I'm trying to stay in a good place, but I'm so sick and tired of her outrageous stupidity and ignorance. Her bitterness and jealousy of me is hitting all time lows and only serves to make it less likely that we'll do anything to cooperate with her on anything in the future, in addition to her hurting her own daughter by not allowing us any real quality time with her. We only get to see her every 2 weeks for a few hours each day on the weekend.

But I find that her ignorance also angers me. She has no idea what my beliefs are. My husband and I think that she probably had to Google yesterday's holiday to even know why we wanted our daughter to spend an extra hour with us. The equinox is not a religious holiday for everyone. It's a seasonal holiday, the Pagan's Thanksgiving. And being Pagan does not make one religious. If she wants to debate what my path is, she should at least become educated on it beforehand so her stupidity doesn't show through so clearly.

And - I am married to our daughter's father. I am family. My husband's ex does not have to like it, but I am family. I love our daughter and I always will. That is just the way it is. She is going to have to figure out a way to live with this fact. She has no choice but to share her biological daughter with me. And she is the one who threw my 'now husband' out of their home with nothing but a backpack and the clothes on his back. What did she honestly think would happen after doing something that extreme?

So I am trying to release the anger I've had for this selfish and ignorant excuse for a woman and mother. And all I wish to give to her...is my silence. I will not allow her to ruin my love for my new daughter, she is what matters. Both of our children are loved by my husband and me and that will never change.

Festival of Ganesha: The Birthday of the Lord Ganesha

Today marks the beginning of the Festival of Ganesha in Hindu culture. The festival, celebrating the birthday of Lord Ganesha, begins September 9 (this year) and lasts for up to 10 days. Ganesha is prayed to for wisdom, inner spiritual strength and success in all undertakings. After 10 days of dancing, feasting and revelry the Ganesha idols are carried to a body of water and submerged; symbolically seeing Ganesha off as he returns to his home taking all the worries and woes of man with him.

If you want to celebrate this time, decorate your alter in red. Swath it in red cloth and flowers. Place a statue or image of Ganesha on your alter. Add other items that hold meaning to you of success, prosperity and wisdom. Leave offerings of coconut and sweet pudding.

For the Kitchen Witches and Witchlings - you may want to try the traditional nan khatai biscuit recipe.

Ingredients

• 1/3 of a cup of plain flour
• 1/3 of a cup of semolina
• Half a cup of gram flour
• Pinch of baking soda
• 1/4 of a teaspoon of coarse cardamom powder
• Half a cup of unsalted butter
• 2/3 of a cup of sugar
• 1 tablespoon of sliced almonds
• 1 tablespoon of sliced pistachios

Cooking

1. Pre-heat your oven to 375F/190C.
2. Mix the plain flour, gram flour, semolina, baking soda and cardamom powder in a large bowl, and set aside.
3. Beat the butter (it helps if it’s warmed to room temperature first) and sugar in a small bowl, until it’s light and fluffy.
4. Add the butter and sugar to the flour mixture, and knead into a dough.
5. Divide the dough into 24 equal parts, and roll into balls, then flatten slightly with your palms.
6. With a knife, mark squares into the surface of each piece of dough by  drawing 2 horizontal lines and 2 vertical lines. Place the almonds and pistachios into each of these squares.
7. Bake the dough on a greased baking tin for 12 – 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Leave to cool, then serve.

Looking for the mythology regarding Ganesha and his festival? Here's a great article:
Short essay on ganesh chaturthi festival in India by Atul Josh

For the multi-religious/spiritual family - take some time when reading the creation/birth story of Ganesha. I began this discussion in my previous article, 'Raising Witchlings: How to Introduce your Children to the Craft'. See any similarities with Christian mythology? Being created from dust (Adam)...sacrificed and resurrected to be worshiped as a god (Jesus), or the other birth story where his brother caused his death (ummm...Cain and Abel possibly) and resurrection by his father the god Vishnu (back to Jesus). There are innumerable similarities to find. I personally prefer the much older Christian mythology that states that BOTH man and woman were created in the image of God - at the same time. Thus showing that 'God' is in fact the embodiment of both the masculine and feminine. But that's another article all together...(coming soon to blogs and message boards near you!)

I don't point this out in order to 'stick it' to Christianity. I've always been fascinated by the evolution of religions. This is just one of the many mythologies that reflects this evolution in religious stories and beliefs. We have a great opportunity for teaching our children that regardless of the path, we all have similarities. What matters most is that we find the path that speaks to our souls, that we learn that coexistence is possible (and in fact, preferable by ANY God/Goddess/Saint/Angel or any other creative power or religious/spiritual being you can name - that includes human beings and all of creation), and in the end we are all trying to answer the same questions, we are all trying to seek our own unique form of nirvana. Use this holiday as a teaching tool for yourself, your family members and your children.

May Ganesha remove all obstacles to your spiritual growth and prosperity in the year to come!

Brightest Blessings!
the Witchy Writer ☽✪☾

Raising Witchlings Series: Mabon Kitchen Witchery for Children

Posted on Examiner.com / Sept. 5 2013

With the Mabon season upon us, what better time to initiate little Witchlings into the art of Kitchen Witchery.  Fruits and vegetables are being harvested; many a Kitchen Witch is busy canning and preserving. Teaching Witchlings about the season of thanksgiving and gratitude comes easily and naturally within the garden and kitchen. The heart and hearth of our homes.

For the Kitchen Witch lucky enough to have the space for a garden, you've probably already been busy harvesting your own bounty. For those who aren't so lucky there may be friends or family that do, or a trip to a local farm or farmers market will stock your kitchens with the local harvest. Be sure to bring the Witchlings along; showing them exactly where all of our food comes from. Explaining the time and effort that each gardener and farmer takes to produce all of the items we enjoy each day. From the sweetest of apples to the juiciest of plums and berries, the wheat that is ground to make our breads and all of the vegetables we use each day.

This can be a magickal time for you and your little ones, your grandchildren, your nieces or nephews. It's a time of thanksgiving and recognizing the things that we are all most grateful for. So, to begin...

I believe there is a craft project brewing. Go to the craft or hobby store and stock up on fabric paint and blank aprons. Design your own with paint, iron on designs, gems or embroidery. Sponge paint colorful fall leaf designs or pumpkins, make hand-print turkeys with colorful feathers. The possibilities are endless. This can be the start of your Kitchen Witchlings initiation into the world of Witchy Cooking so make it as memorable as you can.

Every good Kitchen Witch needs their wand. If you are good with wood carving or burning, design a special wooden spoon for your Kitchen Witchling to use. If you aren't handy with a wood burner, you can always purchase one in advance. Woodewytch Woodburning, based in Australia, has a beautiful array of Wiccan kitchen spoons in addition to amazing hand-crafted items for decoration and alters. If time is short, you can also fashion a large wooden spoon with a decorative handle of stones, crystals or beads glued around the end. So once the aprons and wands are ready to go, the Cooking Witchery can commence.

Planning the magick. Have a specific recipe in mind and make sure you'll have enough time to be relaxed and take your time. This is so much more than just a kitchen.  For the Kitchen Witch the stove is an alter and the room a ritual space. Every creation made for friends and loved ones a magickal act. So prepare your space as you would for any other ritual.

And the ritual begins. As you prepare your ingredients, explain what each herb and spice is for. Its mundane and magickal use. What each fruit, vegetable and grain represent. Stir and mix your creation in a clockwise or deosil direction, concentrating on your intention for this recipe. Maybe you have special chants you wish to share. If your Witchlings have a Book of Shadows or journal, have them record the recipe and magickal instructions. If they are still too young, maybe you will choose to start it for them and they can take over the writings once they are older. If this time becomes a regular family tradition they will have completed magickal cookbooks by the time they are ready to leave home; ready to pass on to the next generation.

Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Have your Witchlings pay close attention to their feelings as they eat as well as the reactions and conversations of any others sharing the meal. Have them write any observations they make in their BOS or journals.

Even if we cannot commit to instructing our Witchlings for each meal (most of us having to live in the ever hectic hustle and bustle of everyday life), try to do this once a week or even once a month. It may take some extra time at first, but very soon you'll have a confident Kitchen Witchling. And I don't know of many who would scoff at having an extra pair of hands in the kitchen.

As summer falls behind us, the days becoming shorter and shorter, we watch the colors change and look back at all we've accomplished over the past year and all we still wish to complete before the winter months blow in. The mistakes we've made are hopefully lessons learned, the successes cherished. We enter this season with reflection and gratitude. Did we truly connect with the ones we love, did we stand strong through our individual challenges, did we learn, did we teach? Start the season with your eyes wide open to all of the magick and joy there is to be had and shared. If you have been struggling with a way to open up your world to those you love, use your gifts of Kitchen Witchery to introduce your Witchlings into your world. May the blessings of the season bring each and every one of you love, joy and many warm memories.

Posted on Examiner.com / Sept. 5, 2013

Gratitude and the Season of Mabon

Magic is in the Air

Yesterday I completed our harvest wreath. I added the flowers that my husband had given me the other day. 

They were withered, but I wanted to include them. The flower bloom at the bottom no longer had its stem, so I pushed it in-between the surrounding stems. 

This morning we found that the flower had re-bloomed as if it were just picked )0(

I've been reflecting on all of the things that have happened over the past year; all of the challenges I've had to face. It's amazing what we are all capable of surviving. I say this because I've had to recreate myself in a matter of speaking. I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition and have been on disability for almost 2 years now. I used to be able to work full-time, I used to be a dancer; performing professionally. Many things have changed in my life and it's been difficult at times to not live in the past. But during this time I have been able to seek income assistance, I met and married my husband, I moved from Arizona to Ontario, Canada, I continue to care for my son and now a step-daughter. I have my faith and I've been able to concentrate on writing; something I've been wanting to do for years. I've always wanted to move from Arizona, to be close to water...and now I am. I have a husband who adores me and cares for me on my bad days. We don't have a lot, but I cherish everything we do have.

And now, I've been blessed with a community who have opened their arms to me. Sharing my writing and giving great feedback. Mostly good, but even the not so positive comments have made me think about what I've written and how I'd like to present my thoughts and experiences in future writings. So I suppose I'll be grateful for them too.

In the beginning, I was only going to have a little blog that I would use to post my thoughts on, but now that I've been able to really put my time and energy into interacting with so many communities, seeing all of the questions, issues and advice everyone is requesting, well - I'm hoping that my 2 decades of experience in the Craft will help me give some answers and advice to those who want it. I'm also hoping to learn a lot from everyone as well. I began my journey on this path when I was 15 years old. I've studied a lot, practiced as a solitary as well as in a coven. I've met with teaching coven's and attending rituals with a number of other coven groups. I'm a High Priestess and ordained minister, but I know that my education is far from over.

My son is 6, my step-daughter 3. I'm experiencing what it is like to be a Wiccan parent and trying to find my way through passing on my knowledge and spiritual path to my kids. I've connected with many Wiccan and Pagan parenting pages - this has led me to create my 'Raising Witchlings' series. I'm hoping to teach, but also to learn from all of my readers.

The journey to where I am now has certainly been bumpy; but I wouldn't have gotten here in any other way. Even with my health issues, I am grateful for what I have and how far I've come. I'm blessed to have the life I do. I hope all of you can see the many blessings you each have in your lives.

Brightest Blessings this Mabon season!
the Witchy Writer ☽✪☾

Raising Witchlings Series: Children and Meditation

Posted on Examiner.com / Sept. 1, 2013

Of all the tips and techniques available to help children learn to meditate, there is one that stands out the most. In order to teach your children meditation they must learn by example. You, as the parent, should have a meditation practice in place; one that your children see you practice regularly. Not only will it show them the basics of meditation but it will also give you a calmer perspective in raising and teaching your children.

The Dalai Lama is quoted, "If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation." This is a gift to ourselves as well as our children that we cannot afford not to give. Meditation gives a child self-empowerment, the ability to feel safe and a better sense and understanding of their own needs and emotions. Their physical and mental health are increased by this practice. This is especially helpful for children with hyper-activity disorders like ADHD. Giving a child the ability and knowledge that they are in fact in control of their emotions and feelings can and does change their entire world.

You do not have to prescribe to any specific religion or spiritual path to meditate; it is open and available for everyone. As adults, many have found the benefits of meditation later in life and want to pass this gift onto their children. The age of your child will dictate the technique and time frame for each meditation session. Some feel that Yoga Nidra is one of the best forms of meditation for children as it allows for a very deep relaxation. This can be done in the evening before bedtime or at any point during the day. Especially if your child has experienced something and they need to find a way to calm down and relax. Techniques will very, but there are some basics that parents should follow.

• Have your child relax into a comfortable position. For Yoga Nidra, the best position is in Shavasana (corpse pose). Have your child lay on their back; head, shoulders and spine in alignment; palms facing up and legs straight, feet slightly apart.
• Guide your child in an awareness of their body. In the beginning this may not be very natural for your child. Have them tense each body part one at a time, hold, then release it and relax. This will begin to teach them how to move their awareness through their body. In time you can guide them to simply feel the vibrations or energy flowing in each part of their body.
• Guide your child in an awareness of their breath. Have them take 3 slow deep breaths to further their relaxation. Ask them to be aware of each breath as they take them, breathing in slowly and then out.
• Reassure your child that they are safe and protected. Possible suggestions for this would be to have them encounter a guardian (animal, angel, person), who will always be with them. Have the guardian give them a cloak of protection that they will wear during the meditation.
• Have your child release any worries or fears they may be holding onto. Have your child's guardian walk them first to the 'Worry Tree'. This is an ancient tree whose job it is to collect all the worries and fears so your child can release them. Have your child see each worry/fear as a ribbon, tell them to pin or tie each ribbon to the tree. Then have their guardian walk them away from the tree, thus releasing the worries and fears.

Once your child is relaxed and receptive the door is wide open on what type of meditation to proceed with. This is a time to explore various methods and find what works best for each child. In the beginning it is best to use guided meditations. Walk your child through a short story or adventure. Leave the ending of the meditation open for them to finish the exploration or story for themselves allowing them to drift off to sleep. Or you can walk them through the story in its entirety and then gently call them back into the awareness of their bodies and into wakefulness.

As your child progresses they can begin silent meditations or listening to soft background music. Invite them to join your silent meditations; using this time to bond with them. Create a sign that your child can hang on their doorknob of their bedrooms with something like, 'Please be quiet, meditation in progress', thus allowing them to request their own private quiet time. For those of us practicing Wicca, have your child keep their Book of Shadows (BOS) or a journal handy to record any experiences they have. This is a great opportunity to have your child record their own progress; something they can look back on in years to come and pass on to their children. Building this experience into a family tradition will strengthen the bond of love and open communication for everyone.

Don't feel discouraged in the beginning. There are so many techniques available and practice will bring rewards. You can use the many examples of meditation scripts available online or in books, or you can write your own. You know best what your child likes and responds to. Use your intuition to guide you on this path. What landscapes, colors, activities, animals and play does your child prefer? Find a script you like and rewrite it, replacing the places and interactions with those your child will openly respond to. There is no right or wrong way to put together a meditation. The goal is to find a way of teaching your child to relax, calm themselves and fully connect with themselves in their own unique and intimate way.

Children can be taught empathy and compassion for the world through meditation. Have your child experience what it is like to soar in the sky with the birds, sway in the breeze with the trees, discover life in an ant colony. Connecting with nature and Mother Earth are great ways of teaching our children about our interconnectedness and why it is our sacred job to care for Her. Below are listed various sites that give good examples of scripts and meditations for children of all ages as well as additional information for the parents on how to get started. See this as an opportunity to open up a whole new world to your children, they will be grateful to you that you did.

Here are some site suggestions with meditations and information to help you get started:
http://www.sarahwood.com/Meditations.htm
http://www.freemeditation.com/online-meditation/
http://www.teachchildrenmeditation.com/
http://meditation.org.au/index.asp?mobilecheck=true
http://yoganidrafree.com/children.html
http://www.relaxkids.com/tips/entry/Meditation_and_relaxation_for_children_with_ADHD_/597

Posted on Examiner.com: http://www.examiner.com/article/raising-witchlings-children-and-meditation

Raising Witchlings Series: How to Introduce Your Children to the Craft

Posted on Examiner.com

Many pagan parents who follow the religion of Wicca are unsure of how to begin introducing their children to the Craft. There are still many who unfortunately condemn anyone who follows any kind of pagan religion. We want to protect our children as well as educate them on our beliefs. It is not as easy as sending them off to Sunday School each week to have someone teach them the principles and beliefs of the faith. This becomes even more difficult if the parents each follow different faiths. But it can be much easier than you think and you can respect all faiths within the home.

All religion and nature flow together as one. Caring for our environment, homes and communities is one of the basic tenants of all religions. For pagan parents this can be a great way to start the introduction. Picking up litter throughout the neighborhood, participating in a community garden project, donating your gently used items to a homeless shelter. The list is endless. There are so many projects that children can do to get them outside (which is always better than sitting in front of the television) and communing with nature and your community.

Show your children what it means to care for our Earth Mother. Let them see you give offerings to the earth and elements. Allow them the space to ask you questions about what you are doing and why. The questions usually always flow into those of your beliefs and religious practices. This way the introduction flows naturally and isn't forced upon your children. And this brings up a second point.

Never force your children to participate. Allow them to see what you are doing; allow them to ask questions. Ask them if they would like to help you set up your alter for an upcoming holiday, Esbat or ritual. Let them help you clear and cleanse your ritual space, all the while explaining to them what you are doing as you do it. If they show interest in participating in a ritual or officially meeting your coven (if you have one), great, if not that's alright too.

This also applies to families who have different faiths. If you have made an agreement with your partner to not 'officially' bring your children fully into the Craft, they need to respect those same boundaries and not demand that they go to church every Sunday. Hopefully this is a discussion you've already had with your partner but it's one that will continue to evolve as your children get older, see more of both your faiths and ask more questions. Communicate early on with your partner so you can both find a way of being open with your children and show respect for your partners beliefs at the same time.

We all want our children to grow up happy and healthy, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Give them the room to feel out what works best for them (even if that is not the path you have chosen). The more we expose our children to, the more they will learn from our example to coexist with the amazing diversity we have throughout the world.

Find the commonalty in varying belief systems. Do some homework on all types of religious and spiritual practices and use the different holidays as a way to show your children how others live and celebrate their faith. Even Atheism holds basic beliefs on creation through evolution, living a good life, being responsible and caring for others. Discuss the similarities and let go of the differences. There are some great examples of how we all live that are similar. Show this to your children, let them see that no matter what faith or belief system we hold to we are all a part of a much larger and intricately connected system; we are all human beings, we all have feelings and we all deserve respect.

Teach them how to answer questions from others on Wicca. Whether or not the topic is ever brought up (and depending on how open you and your partner are on your faiths), it's a good idea to give your children some basics on what to say if asked about Wicca.

Teach your children the tenant of 'To Know, To Dare, To Will, To Keep Silent'. We know that we are on an eternal quest for knowledge throughout our existence. We dare to move into the realm of the unknown in our quest for knowledge, to have courage in finding our own path. We will ourselves to continue on our path of discovery and persevere through the challenges and diversity we face within our lives. And we know that to keep silent can hold far more important meaning than any words we may utter.

It may be easier to tell your children that you don't discuss your faith with others, and at times it is certainly appropriate to keep silent; but there will come a time when they are asked something that will cause your child to feel like they need to divulge some information. Better to decide what you are comfortable with now then after the fact. It could be something as simple as 'My mommy is Wiccan, we love and care for nature', to a much more in-depth definition. Find what works for you, your partner and your children. If you live in an area that is very open with varied religious paths, great. If not, teach them what is appropriate to discuss in public.

Teaching our children about our faith and beliefs should be a fun experience. Help them see the beauty in the diversity that surrounds us. They don't need to follow in your or your partners spiritual footsteps, but they should have the information available to them so they can make a knowledgeable choice when they are old enough to decide. Knowledge really is power and those of us in the Craft know this fact intimately. How better to show our love for our children then through passing this gift onto them.

Some of my favorite sites for Witchling fun:
Pooka Pages
Pagan Parenting
Pagan Parenting Articles - WitchVox
Pagan Moonbeams
Mystic Moon Coven - Pagan Parenting Information

Posted on Examiner.com: http://www.examiner.com/article/raising-witchlings-how-to-introduce-your-children-to-the-craft

Having Exactly What We Want

I'm working on a number of articles right now, but I'm also reading a lot of material on living a life of abundance and joy. I'm currently reading from "The Vortex" by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and this page really seems to sum up what I'd like to say today:

'Since everyone wants to feel good, but there are so many things that others are doing that, as you observe them, do not feel good, it is easy to understand how you would come to the conclusion that your path to feeling good is through influencing or controlling the behavior of others. But as you attempt to control them (through influence or coercion), you discover that not only can you not contain them - but your attention to them brings more like them into your experience.

Your current society is waging a war against illegal drugs, a war against poverty, a war against crime, a war against teenage pregnancy, a war against cancer, a war against AIDS, a war against terrorism [a war against hate]... and all of them are getting bigger. You simply cannot get to where you want to be by controlling or eliminating the unwanted.

And who among you gets to decide which way of living is the "right" one, anyway? Is the largest group the one that holds that "knowledge," or is the group with the greatest capacity to kill the other groups the one who is "right"? Do poor people have the answer? Do rich people hold the key? Which religion is the "right" religion? Which way of life is the "right" one? Is it right to have children? How many is the correct number? And if a woman has children, is it appropriate for her to think of other things? Can she have a career, or is she now obligated to think of nothing other than her children? How should a man treat his wife? How many wives should he have?

The flawed premise "My group's/our way is the only correct way, therefore all other ways must be stopped, because when I look at what I do not agree with, I feel bad" is the basis of the majority of unhappiness on your planet.

Not only do those being pushed against feel the pain, but those doing the pushing feel it as well. In fact, the unhappiest, least fulfilled among you are those who are pushing against others, because, in doing so, you are disallowing the most important relationship of all; the relationship between you and You."

We are bringing to us all that we have in our lives and by pushing against the things/people/organizations, etc. that we don't want in our lives we're just screaming 'GIVE ME MORE, GIVE ME MORE, GIVE ME MORE' of what we do not want.

To get what you DO want...put your energy, thoughts and feelings to what you want more of in your life. Let go of what you do not want, your thoughts and energy are better placed on good feeling things. Let others deal with their own negative manifestations into their reality, don't make their pain your own, you deserve so much better.

Something to meditate on tonight...

Brightest Blessings!
the Witchy Writer ☽◯☾

Witchy ALERT: Pagan Hate Group on Facebook

UPDATE
As of 8/21/13 the Facebook site 'Witches must die by fire' has been removed.

However, this page was only one of many out there that incite violence towards Pagans / Witches / Wiccans. There are places in this world that are still torturing and killing people accused of Witchcraft. This is a current global concern. If you would like to help, my suggestion would be to send your energy to the victims. See them healthy, happy and safe within their communities. And if you choose to join a group to lend your voice to this cause - find an organization that stands for peace. Keep the positive goal in the forefront of your minds. See and feel the happiness and safety of these people. Join peace rallies, talk only of peace and safety. We get more of what we think and feel. So bring these people peace and joy.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer
___________________________________________________________________________________

My pagan and Witchy friends, I have seen a lot of talk about a hate group on Facebook called "Witches must die by fire". It is so unfortunate that there are still individuals so disconnected with Spirit/God, but they are out there. I am glad however, that they are NOT the majority.

There are many, many pagans keeping an eye on this site and many who have reported this site to Facebook as 'hate speech' (myself included), but FB has made the decision that this page does not fall under that designation and have allowed the site to remain online.

One of the bloggers on 'Witches and Pagans' is staying on top of this story and has gathered the information for anyone wanting to report the site to Interpol in an effort to have it removed. My take on the site is a little different:

REQUEST TO ALL PAGANS/WITCHES

Rather than responding to the many ignorant comments of the sites administrator, let's use the Law of Attraction to find a better solution.

First: Do not respond to any of the negative and ignorant comments from the site admin or any others whose responses are negative or hateful.

Second: Deluge the site with images, articles, comments, responses etc... of the positive aspects of who and what we are.

My hope is that the site will be so overwhelmed with the positive and good of our path that anything negative will no longer be seen. Or, the admin will be so overwhelmed with trying to respond to, block and/or delete the positive posts that he/she will see how futile their site is and delete it themselves.

Let's put the Law of Attraction to work. Please do not concentrate on the negative of this site, only the positive impact we can have on those who need our sympathy.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer

Finding Peace in Turmoil

Like finding the sun shining through in the midst of a storm, we all want to be able to find peace when we are facing turmoil in our lives. So we keep asking ourselves how we can find any kind of inner peace when a storm is raging within us. Our chests are tight and hurt, we become overly sensitive to everything and everyone. One minute we're crying and the next we are exploding over something small and usually meaningless. So how do we do it?

I've been asking myself this very question over the past few days. My husband has a daughter from his previous relationship. She is 3, and beautiful, and wonderful, and smart, and so many more things. I can already see the trouble she is going to cause us when she's a teenager, but I welcome it because I love her so very much. Well - and I already know all the teenage girl tricks because I used them all myself. And I'm going to thoroughly enjoy watching my husband's flustering frustrations as she becomes a young woman. It's going to be quite entertaining.

The turmoil however, is with my lovely step-daughter's mother. I suppose it isn't usual for women to like or get along with their ex's new wife, and I'm not expecting her to like me or my husband. What I do expect is that she control herself in front of her daughter. But she is very angry and upset over our marriage and has made it very obvious the she is unable to control her temper. And unfortunately she dragged her daughter outside with her in order to yell at my husband. I just watched as she looked around in despair. She started by hitting her mother over and over in the stomach trying to get her attention. But I look up and all she can do is flail her arms around with her eyes about to bug out of her head while she ignores her daughter completely to continue the tirade. The sadness in that little girls face absolutely broke my heart. We received texts from her throughout the night saying how her daughter was screaming and yelling; all in an attempt to make my husband feel bad. But she can't see it. My step-daughter is perfectly fine with us. We don't discuss her mother or show our anger or frustration with her immaturity in her presence. We expected the same from her mother, but that isn't happening. Why is she so angry when she is with her mother? Because she is insulting and yelling about her father in front of her. She screams and yells at her mother and grandparents because they can't control themselves around her. A 3 year old only has one response to listening to someone tear her father apart. She screams and yells, she throws tantrums, she isn't nice to anyone. But she doesn't do any of this with us. So that is what is currently going on. You can see why my level of frustration is high. But what to do about it.

Step One - identify what I don't want so I know what I do want. I don't want to ever see my step-daughter in that kind of pain again. So what I want is to know that she has peace and love in her life regardless of what her mother and grandparents are doing. I want her to know and feel that we all love her so very much. That it is okay that her mommy has a home and her daddy has a home. I want this with all of my being.

Step Two - let what I do want be known to the universe. This is the easy part. I know what I want, so the universe knows it also. I don't have to worry about it.

Step Three - allow the truth of what I want to manifest into my present reality. This is the harder part. It requires that I project and think about what I do want, not what I don't want. That's hard when we are constantly bombarded by my husband's ex and her immature and outrageously childish behavior. Sometimes I feel it just never ends, getting more and more out of control. But, it does that only because I'm not in the right state of mind. The more frustrated I get at her, the less I'm concentrating on my step-daughter's peace. I'm concentrating on her lack of peace. And as the Law of Attraction tells - we get more of what we think and feel. I feel frustration, so does my step-daughter.

Changing this pattern will not be easy, but is extremely important. I really really want my step-daughter to be at peace - so this is what I need to concentrate on. I have to FEEL with all of my being that she is in peace, that this is the only state of being she can be in. I cannot concentrate on what her mother is currently doing. This only brings more of what she is doing into being.

This holds true with anything we want in our lives. These steps can be put to anything. The point is that we decide how we want to feel and feel that way now before we are able to physically see the manifestation for ourselves. The universe hears and answers our requests, but if we turn around and feel the opposite the universe will hear that as well, manifesting what we don't want instead. It takes practice. Start with something small that is easy for you to feel good about right now - you'll see it manifest for you. The faster we are able to truly put ourselves into the good feeling place of already having, the faster the universe will deliver. Do the best that you can. Find things that you can redirect your energy towards that will keep you feeling good. Whether it is meditation, looking at pictures that make you feel happy and good, exercise, music, art, writing. It doesn't matter, just do it and you'll see.

So wish me luck as I give my step-daughter the best gift I can. Peace of mind, joy, laughter, love, family. And if you have a few moments, please send your good feeling intentions to this amazing and most deserving little girl. She is so worth it.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer

This is a great video to watch that gives you wonderful information to take with you if you find yourself at the end of a relationship...especially if you have children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TeJ9s7XmS4