Raising Witchlings Series: How to Introduce Your Children to the Craft

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Many pagan parents who follow the religion of Wicca are unsure of how to begin introducing their children to the Craft. There are still many who unfortunately condemn anyone who follows any kind of pagan religion. We want to protect our children as well as educate them on our beliefs. It is not as easy as sending them off to Sunday School each week to have someone teach them the principles and beliefs of the faith. This becomes even more difficult if the parents each follow different faiths. But it can be much easier than you think and you can respect all faiths within the home.

All religion and nature flow together as one. Caring for our environment, homes and communities is one of the basic tenants of all religions. For pagan parents this can be a great way to start the introduction. Picking up litter throughout the neighborhood, participating in a community garden project, donating your gently used items to a homeless shelter. The list is endless. There are so many projects that children can do to get them outside (which is always better than sitting in front of the television) and communing with nature and your community.

Show your children what it means to care for our Earth Mother. Let them see you give offerings to the earth and elements. Allow them the space to ask you questions about what you are doing and why. The questions usually always flow into those of your beliefs and religious practices. This way the introduction flows naturally and isn't forced upon your children. And this brings up a second point.

Never force your children to participate. Allow them to see what you are doing; allow them to ask questions. Ask them if they would like to help you set up your alter for an upcoming holiday, Esbat or ritual. Let them help you clear and cleanse your ritual space, all the while explaining to them what you are doing as you do it. If they show interest in participating in a ritual or officially meeting your coven (if you have one), great, if not that's alright too.

This also applies to families who have different faiths. If you have made an agreement with your partner to not 'officially' bring your children fully into the Craft, they need to respect those same boundaries and not demand that they go to church every Sunday. Hopefully this is a discussion you've already had with your partner but it's one that will continue to evolve as your children get older, see more of both your faiths and ask more questions. Communicate early on with your partner so you can both find a way of being open with your children and show respect for your partners beliefs at the same time.

We all want our children to grow up happy and healthy, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Give them the room to feel out what works best for them (even if that is not the path you have chosen). The more we expose our children to, the more they will learn from our example to coexist with the amazing diversity we have throughout the world.

Find the commonalty in varying belief systems. Do some homework on all types of religious and spiritual practices and use the different holidays as a way to show your children how others live and celebrate their faith. Even Atheism holds basic beliefs on creation through evolution, living a good life, being responsible and caring for others. Discuss the similarities and let go of the differences. There are some great examples of how we all live that are similar. Show this to your children, let them see that no matter what faith or belief system we hold to we are all a part of a much larger and intricately connected system; we are all human beings, we all have feelings and we all deserve respect.

Teach them how to answer questions from others on Wicca. Whether or not the topic is ever brought up (and depending on how open you and your partner are on your faiths), it's a good idea to give your children some basics on what to say if asked about Wicca.

Teach your children the tenant of 'To Know, To Dare, To Will, To Keep Silent'. We know that we are on an eternal quest for knowledge throughout our existence. We dare to move into the realm of the unknown in our quest for knowledge, to have courage in finding our own path. We will ourselves to continue on our path of discovery and persevere through the challenges and diversity we face within our lives. And we know that to keep silent can hold far more important meaning than any words we may utter.

It may be easier to tell your children that you don't discuss your faith with others, and at times it is certainly appropriate to keep silent; but there will come a time when they are asked something that will cause your child to feel like they need to divulge some information. Better to decide what you are comfortable with now then after the fact. It could be something as simple as 'My mommy is Wiccan, we love and care for nature', to a much more in-depth definition. Find what works for you, your partner and your children. If you live in an area that is very open with varied religious paths, great. If not, teach them what is appropriate to discuss in public.

Teaching our children about our faith and beliefs should be a fun experience. Help them see the beauty in the diversity that surrounds us. They don't need to follow in your or your partners spiritual footsteps, but they should have the information available to them so they can make a knowledgeable choice when they are old enough to decide. Knowledge really is power and those of us in the Craft know this fact intimately. How better to show our love for our children then through passing this gift onto them.

Some of my favorite sites for Witchling fun:
Pooka Pages
Pagan Parenting
Pagan Parenting Articles - WitchVox
Pagan Moonbeams
Mystic Moon Coven - Pagan Parenting Information

Posted on Examiner.com: http://www.examiner.com/article/raising-witchlings-how-to-introduce-your-children-to-the-craft

Having Exactly What We Want

I'm working on a number of articles right now, but I'm also reading a lot of material on living a life of abundance and joy. I'm currently reading from "The Vortex" by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and this page really seems to sum up what I'd like to say today:

'Since everyone wants to feel good, but there are so many things that others are doing that, as you observe them, do not feel good, it is easy to understand how you would come to the conclusion that your path to feeling good is through influencing or controlling the behavior of others. But as you attempt to control them (through influence or coercion), you discover that not only can you not contain them - but your attention to them brings more like them into your experience.

Your current society is waging a war against illegal drugs, a war against poverty, a war against crime, a war against teenage pregnancy, a war against cancer, a war against AIDS, a war against terrorism [a war against hate]... and all of them are getting bigger. You simply cannot get to where you want to be by controlling or eliminating the unwanted.

And who among you gets to decide which way of living is the "right" one, anyway? Is the largest group the one that holds that "knowledge," or is the group with the greatest capacity to kill the other groups the one who is "right"? Do poor people have the answer? Do rich people hold the key? Which religion is the "right" religion? Which way of life is the "right" one? Is it right to have children? How many is the correct number? And if a woman has children, is it appropriate for her to think of other things? Can she have a career, or is she now obligated to think of nothing other than her children? How should a man treat his wife? How many wives should he have?

The flawed premise "My group's/our way is the only correct way, therefore all other ways must be stopped, because when I look at what I do not agree with, I feel bad" is the basis of the majority of unhappiness on your planet.

Not only do those being pushed against feel the pain, but those doing the pushing feel it as well. In fact, the unhappiest, least fulfilled among you are those who are pushing against others, because, in doing so, you are disallowing the most important relationship of all; the relationship between you and You."

We are bringing to us all that we have in our lives and by pushing against the things/people/organizations, etc. that we don't want in our lives we're just screaming 'GIVE ME MORE, GIVE ME MORE, GIVE ME MORE' of what we do not want.

To get what you DO want...put your energy, thoughts and feelings to what you want more of in your life. Let go of what you do not want, your thoughts and energy are better placed on good feeling things. Let others deal with their own negative manifestations into their reality, don't make their pain your own, you deserve so much better.

Something to meditate on tonight...

Brightest Blessings!
the Witchy Writer ☽◯☾

Witchy ALERT: Pagan Hate Group on Facebook

UPDATE
As of 8/21/13 the Facebook site 'Witches must die by fire' has been removed.

However, this page was only one of many out there that incite violence towards Pagans / Witches / Wiccans. There are places in this world that are still torturing and killing people accused of Witchcraft. This is a current global concern. If you would like to help, my suggestion would be to send your energy to the victims. See them healthy, happy and safe within their communities. And if you choose to join a group to lend your voice to this cause - find an organization that stands for peace. Keep the positive goal in the forefront of your minds. See and feel the happiness and safety of these people. Join peace rallies, talk only of peace and safety. We get more of what we think and feel. So bring these people peace and joy.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer
___________________________________________________________________________________

My pagan and Witchy friends, I have seen a lot of talk about a hate group on Facebook called "Witches must die by fire". It is so unfortunate that there are still individuals so disconnected with Spirit/God, but they are out there. I am glad however, that they are NOT the majority.

There are many, many pagans keeping an eye on this site and many who have reported this site to Facebook as 'hate speech' (myself included), but FB has made the decision that this page does not fall under that designation and have allowed the site to remain online.

One of the bloggers on 'Witches and Pagans' is staying on top of this story and has gathered the information for anyone wanting to report the site to Interpol in an effort to have it removed. My take on the site is a little different:

REQUEST TO ALL PAGANS/WITCHES

Rather than responding to the many ignorant comments of the sites administrator, let's use the Law of Attraction to find a better solution.

First: Do not respond to any of the negative and ignorant comments from the site admin or any others whose responses are negative or hateful.

Second: Deluge the site with images, articles, comments, responses etc... of the positive aspects of who and what we are.

My hope is that the site will be so overwhelmed with the positive and good of our path that anything negative will no longer be seen. Or, the admin will be so overwhelmed with trying to respond to, block and/or delete the positive posts that he/she will see how futile their site is and delete it themselves.

Let's put the Law of Attraction to work. Please do not concentrate on the negative of this site, only the positive impact we can have on those who need our sympathy.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer

Finding Peace in Turmoil

Like finding the sun shining through in the midst of a storm, we all want to be able to find peace when we are facing turmoil in our lives. So we keep asking ourselves how we can find any kind of inner peace when a storm is raging within us. Our chests are tight and hurt, we become overly sensitive to everything and everyone. One minute we're crying and the next we are exploding over something small and usually meaningless. So how do we do it?

I've been asking myself this very question over the past few days. My husband has a daughter from his previous relationship. She is 3, and beautiful, and wonderful, and smart, and so many more things. I can already see the trouble she is going to cause us when she's a teenager, but I welcome it because I love her so very much. Well - and I already know all the teenage girl tricks because I used them all myself. And I'm going to thoroughly enjoy watching my husband's flustering frustrations as she becomes a young woman. It's going to be quite entertaining.

The turmoil however, is with my lovely step-daughter's mother. I suppose it isn't usual for women to like or get along with their ex's new wife, and I'm not expecting her to like me or my husband. What I do expect is that she control herself in front of her daughter. But she is very angry and upset over our marriage and has made it very obvious the she is unable to control her temper. And unfortunately she dragged her daughter outside with her in order to yell at my husband. I just watched as she looked around in despair. She started by hitting her mother over and over in the stomach trying to get her attention. But I look up and all she can do is flail her arms around with her eyes about to bug out of her head while she ignores her daughter completely to continue the tirade. The sadness in that little girls face absolutely broke my heart. We received texts from her throughout the night saying how her daughter was screaming and yelling; all in an attempt to make my husband feel bad. But she can't see it. My step-daughter is perfectly fine with us. We don't discuss her mother or show our anger or frustration with her immaturity in her presence. We expected the same from her mother, but that isn't happening. Why is she so angry when she is with her mother? Because she is insulting and yelling about her father in front of her. She screams and yells at her mother and grandparents because they can't control themselves around her. A 3 year old only has one response to listening to someone tear her father apart. She screams and yells, she throws tantrums, she isn't nice to anyone. But she doesn't do any of this with us. So that is what is currently going on. You can see why my level of frustration is high. But what to do about it.

Step One - identify what I don't want so I know what I do want. I don't want to ever see my step-daughter in that kind of pain again. So what I want is to know that she has peace and love in her life regardless of what her mother and grandparents are doing. I want her to know and feel that we all love her so very much. That it is okay that her mommy has a home and her daddy has a home. I want this with all of my being.

Step Two - let what I do want be known to the universe. This is the easy part. I know what I want, so the universe knows it also. I don't have to worry about it.

Step Three - allow the truth of what I want to manifest into my present reality. This is the harder part. It requires that I project and think about what I do want, not what I don't want. That's hard when we are constantly bombarded by my husband's ex and her immature and outrageously childish behavior. Sometimes I feel it just never ends, getting more and more out of control. But, it does that only because I'm not in the right state of mind. The more frustrated I get at her, the less I'm concentrating on my step-daughter's peace. I'm concentrating on her lack of peace. And as the Law of Attraction tells - we get more of what we think and feel. I feel frustration, so does my step-daughter.

Changing this pattern will not be easy, but is extremely important. I really really want my step-daughter to be at peace - so this is what I need to concentrate on. I have to FEEL with all of my being that she is in peace, that this is the only state of being she can be in. I cannot concentrate on what her mother is currently doing. This only brings more of what she is doing into being.

This holds true with anything we want in our lives. These steps can be put to anything. The point is that we decide how we want to feel and feel that way now before we are able to physically see the manifestation for ourselves. The universe hears and answers our requests, but if we turn around and feel the opposite the universe will hear that as well, manifesting what we don't want instead. It takes practice. Start with something small that is easy for you to feel good about right now - you'll see it manifest for you. The faster we are able to truly put ourselves into the good feeling place of already having, the faster the universe will deliver. Do the best that you can. Find things that you can redirect your energy towards that will keep you feeling good. Whether it is meditation, looking at pictures that make you feel happy and good, exercise, music, art, writing. It doesn't matter, just do it and you'll see.

So wish me luck as I give my step-daughter the best gift I can. Peace of mind, joy, laughter, love, family. And if you have a few moments, please send your good feeling intentions to this amazing and most deserving little girl. She is so worth it.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer

This is a great video to watch that gives you wonderful information to take with you if you find yourself at the end of a relationship...especially if you have children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TeJ9s7XmS4

How do Witches Cast Spells?

 

Those who know nothing about the religion of Wicca or the various pagan paths that deal (not all of them do however) with magickal work are often curious about how exactly a 'spell' works. I once had a young woman in an english class as me how she can do a spell to get money. She wanted it right that second. To somehow magickally appear. Well, let me just wave my trusty wand that I have right here in my back pocket and bippity boppity boo! Money! It would be great if that were the way it happens, but it doesn't. And the young woman was very disappointed when I pointed these facts out to her. I guess I just wasn't the right kind of Witch for her.

But for those who are truly interested...a spell is a very focused and concentrated prayer. It is no different from any other person in any other faith sending their request out to the Universe, or God, or Source or what ever name you personally choose to use in reference of the higher power in your life.

Now I know this doesn't sound very glamorous or mystical. We ask for things to come into our lives all the time. The difference however, is what happens after the spell is complete. Every Witch does their spell-work differently. We all have some kind of alter where we place items to represent the various forces, energies and deities we wish to work with into a physical context for us. Many religions do this. Priests where specific robes and use specific tools during services; think of any image of the Pope. Their dress and tools are meant to put everyone into a specific state of mind. To open up your awareness to Source, to God. This 'mood' helps bring the collective thoughts whirling around into alignment with a specific purpose. Witches do the same. Our alters are very special and specific to us. To what visually brings us into alignment with our goals. Covens use this just as any church; to bring everyone into a focused alignment with the previously chosen goal of the particular gathering. By bringing our collective thoughts into alignment we add the energy and momentum needed to manifest our goal into our physical realities.

There is no right or wrong way to conduct a spell. If it feels right and good to you, then you're doing it right. But, there are plenty of online information, books and teaching covens and other groups out there that can help point any novice in the right direction. There is however, one stead fast rule that we all MUST adhere to. The Wiccan Rede, 'An it harm none, do as thou will'. We NEVER do any kind of spell work for the intention of harming or taking away from anyone or anything. We know that what we put out there will always come back to us. So if you do a spell to harm someone, bend someones will to what you want, to change someone or something by means of force to be what you want, you are working against the Rede. And trust me, it will bite you in the ass...big time. (More on that in a future post).

So once you have figured out what you want to do, focus your thoughts and project them out into the Universe...what's the next step? Your intentions in the present moment will determine how easily your desire will manifest. Say you did a money spell; if your thoughts and intentions following the spell-work are that of how you lack money, how you can't pay this or that, your spell isn't going to manifest any time soon.

You need to maintain the same good feelings after the spell is complete. You have to use your imagination to see your desire already manifested in your life. You need to FEEL rich NOW.  If you keep thinking about the lack of money...you will always lack for money.

This also involves regular work on ourselves. We need to find an inner peace with ourselves and our present. It's the only way to see our desires manifest. To see our spell's work. Individuals from all walks of life and faiths do this to find their own inner peace. Many use meditation as a way of finding the peace they need in their present lives. This is the fastest way of doing it. When you slow down and quiet your mind, step within yourself, you see the world in a different light. You can travel anywhere you want simply by closing your eyes. Money isn't a problem, time isn't a problem, the day to day issues that appear in our physical realities are no longer issues. We simply are, and we can be or do or go anywhere. There are no limitations. Astral projection, meditation, communing with God or Source - all of these are accomplished through a meditative state. And the best part is that absolutely anyone can accomplish this with practice.

We must keep our projections (our thoughts) in alignment with our goal. It's all about Law of Attraction. Like attracts like - not the opposite. Want money...see and feel your richness now. Want love...see and feel your love for yourself and others now. Want a new job...see and feel your dream job now. We have absolute control over how we interpret the things around us. Other people don't make us sad, angry, heartbroken or any other emotion. We allow it. So if you catch yourself falling into a negative thought (basically - if you are no longer FEELING good), just stop yourself, take a deep breathe and rethink how you are viewing what ever it is. 

Just because you had the thought does not mean you have ruined your spell. You have to allow it to have your undivided attention to build momentum in order to stop your goal from manifesting into your physical reality. So just work on catching the thoughts and bad feelings, breath through it and change the thought into a positive one. The more you practice this the better you'll get. And the better you get at it the more magickal your life will become because you will know exactly how to manifest anything you want into your life.

Happy Spelling!

Have any of you had a spell go horribly wrong or wonderfully right? What happened?

Blessed Be!

the Witchy Writer

Working and the Law of Attraction

Are you tired of working a job that makes you miserable? I can relate. I had been working for a major university for many years and wasn't finding the job that made me really want to come to work every day. I had glimpses of it from time to time but it never stayed that way. Then after years of searching, learning and applying my various skills I found it. I was no longer just working a job, I had a career! I was excited about coming up with new ideas, pitching new marketing strategies, coming up with new designs. I was learning from a group of amazing mentors who kept my creativity flowing and reaching. I received 2 promotions (title and pay) within the span of 1 year. Practically unheard of in such an economically hard time. But, as has happened time and again, things began to change for the not so better.

Policies started changing, people left jobs and moved on, new people came in who didn't know how to manage groups in a positive direction. I wasn't happy any more. So, I was back to just working a job. I didn't know where to turn...and I began to feel sick. I thought it was nothing but a little stress in the beginning but it soon spiraled out of my control. So by the time the most awful happened (our director was terminated unjustly), I was dealing with a debilitating chronic illness.

I was shocked and outraged. How could all of this be happening to me NOW? Well...let's break it down:

• I'm feeling great in a career I love...I'm going places.
• Things start to happen that I allowed myself to feel crummy about. I was angry and fearful about the future.
• I start to feel sick.
• Situations worsen and I continued to allow myself to feel angry and fearful.
• Bam! Chronic illness arrives.

Did I do this to myself? The answer that I (and no one for that matter) wants to hear is YES. Now, some of you may be thinking, how did I do all of this to myself? I wasn't in total control of the others around me. And my answer would be no, I cannot nor did I try to control the others around me. But I did nothing to control my negative emotions either.

This is the biggy. How we feel can tell us what we are going to attract into our lives. Yes, things are going to happen around us that are not always positive. But how we react to it is completely within our control. And the more we practice staying within the positive the less negative that we will see around us. Negativity cannot survive around those with an enlightened state of being. The term misery loves company is absolutely true. It needs other negative emotions to feed off of. If you don't give it any negativity, if you don't help feed it, it withers into nothing.

So what should I have done? Looking back there were numerous cases of me allowing my anger to get the best of me. I fumed to myself about this person or that person. I joined in on the office gossip and complained until I was blue in the face. I let what a small group of others were doing to directly affect my present. I fed the negativity. And in the end I lost. I lost my career. I lost my health.

For those of you who have followed the Law of Attraction (LOA) you're probably saying, 'Well that's just a shocker'! Well, for me in that moment it was. I could have chosen a different route. I could have continued to network with my mentors, meditated to help keep my inner peace intact, sought advice from those I trusted, listened to my instincts and moved in the direction that FELT better to me. But I didn't. Lesson learned.

But that certainly isn't the end of my story. I'm back in the game with new knowledge. I look at things around me differently. I catch the negativity trying to creep in earlier and actively squash it under my foot like the nasty little bug it is. My ideas of what I want have changed and I'm moving in the direction that feels good. So my spark is returning and because I'm making these choices my life is turning once again into the feel good, joyful, happy to be here place that I've been missing.

So what should you do if you find yourself in a similar situation? Here are a few tips to put you back onto the positive, joyful path you deserve to be on (so this is the part where I am waving my magick wand directly over your head to impart my lessons into your being):

• Acknowledge that you are beautifully imperfect. Having a negative emotion does not mean that it will immediately manifest something horrible in your life. You have to give it momentum (aka your continued attention and thoughts) to allow it to creep into your reality.
• Make a feel good list. Do this today. Make a list of all the things that make you feel good. A place, memory, vacation trip, family, friend, music, meditation, yoga, a hobby. Anything that makes you feel good. Then figure out how you can utilize one or many of these at any time or place. Keep your iPod on you at all times, carry pictures or affirmations in your purse or wallet. Take a minute to do some deep breathing. Just figure it out and start putting these into practice every time you feel a negative emotion creeping in. Don't give it the momentum.
• Regroup. Look at the situation/thing/person from an outsiders point of view. Is there something you might have overlooked? Are there other options you didn't try? Have you considered the side of the other person and what they are experiencing? What would happen if you simply refused to add to the negativity of what appears to be going on? There are always options; what you need to do is find out which feels good to you (or in some cases what feels the least bad) and head in that direction.
• Pay attention to how you are feeling as the situation progresses. Change tactics in order to keep yourself moving in a good feeling place. Do you need to talk to a manager or HR, do you need to seek some advice, maybe have a group discussion to find out what is at the heart of the matter, or maybe you need to consider a new job or complete change of career. All of these ideas are options. 
• Never settle. Life is not meant to be something you just settle for. If you aren't living in joy, you aren't living within the LOA. Keep searching, keep digging, keep exploring. You will find your way.

Do you have any similar experiences? Share them...

Blessed Be!

Digging for Dirt in a Desert

Have you ever noticed yourself or others doing this? Trying to find something about someone else for no other reason than to prove to yourself how horrible the other person is. Usually we see this in ex's; which is what I'm currently in the process of watching. It seems that my step-daughter's mother is on a hunt to find something (anything) she can to use against my husband. The current tactic seems to be that my husband didn't get into a car accident (which he did), that he didn't go through the windshield (which he unfortunately did - but he is okay), and because my husband isn't on my car insurance (because I don't have coverage for anyone other than myself driving the car - $$$), that there is some kind of nefarious issues going on that she must uncover and reveal to the world. Well, maybe just to the court system so she can get sole custody.

It's sad really; to watch her hunting and digging, and hunting and digging. She's trying to find this elusive grain of sand within a desert that will give her the information she is hoping to get - so she can prove what a horrible man my husband is. Maybe she thinks it will make her feel better if she can find something. Maybe she wants to show the world that she isn't the reason that the two of them are no longer together. Regardless, I'm watching this and its really, really sad. I see her working herself up on figments of her imagination and my husband becoming more and more angry and resentful towards his ex. How does this benefit anyone? How is this doing what is best for my precious 3 year old step-daughter? My husband wasn't even one of those dead-beat dads we all hear about or see in our own lives. He's been there since day one, been a stay-at-home dad for the past 2 years. But his ex is trying to portray him to the courts as if he were one of those dead-beat dads that we as mothers just want to take a baseball bat to.

I completely realize that my husband had a hand in breaking up their relationship...just as I had a hand in breaking up my first marriage. Like we are told time and time again, it takes 2 to make it work, and 2 to break it apart. It happens. But hopefully we can learn from it and move on to other relationships with more information. Clearer heads. A better idea of what we do and do not want from ourselves as well as a partner.

One thing I have learned regarding my own broken relationships is that dwelling on the would'ves, should'ves, could'ves, if only's, how could he, that SOB, I hope he rots in ________, fill in the blank with what ever expletive you want, is pointless. It is a complete waste of our time and utterly destructive to our inner peace and hope's of having a positive, loving relationship in the future.

As a Witch we try to live as best we can within the natural laws of nature. Our rule, or version of the 10 commandments as it were, we call our Rede: 'An it harm none, do as thou will'. This rule also applies to ourselves. Continuing in day after day of negative thinking is extremely harmful to ourselves. We know that the mental projections (thoughts) that we release into the universe, will eventually come back to us. People call this by many names: Karma, Law of Nature, Law of Attraction, Will of God are only a few. But regardless of the name you use, the premise is the same. What ever you do/say/think will come back at you at some point. I for one want to try to minimize the negative backlash as much as possible.

But as human beings, we know that we can't stop every negative thought or emotion from forming. It just isn't possible. But we can recognize when we start these negative thoughts and actively do something to calm ourselves down, regroup, and let our thoughts flow in a more positive direction. This insures that even though the negative emotion/thought started - we didn't allow it to build momentum to the point where it goes out of our control. Some people do this with deep breathing, meditation, working out, taking long walks, listening to music or yoga. Really it's anything that makes you FEEL better. And feel is the operative word here.

How we feel tells us whether we are heading into a good place or bad place. If we feel crummy, sad, depressed, angry, hurt (add in any negative emotion you want), then we need to stop the second we recognize it and do what we need to, to regroup and move into the positive. We aren't hurting the other person by fuming about them, we hurt ourselves. And at the end of the day, we have to live with ourselves - not the other person.

I hope that my husband's ex figures this out soon. I hope she realizes how detrimental all of this digging and fighting and lashing out is to herself and unfortunately to her daughter as well. She's told my husband that their daughter is having some severe separation anxieties. She thinks that this is something she can throw in my husbands face to make him feel bad. But what she doesn't see at all is that my step-daughter is having a hard time with the separations because she gets to see her father so infrequently. She doesn't realize that she is the ultimate cause of her daughter's separation anxieties. I hope that she starts seeing the truth soon. I may not like her, or ever want to be close to her - but I don't wish her ill. I don't want her to hurt. I don't want her to suffer. I want her to learn from this and move on to something more positive in her life. She can be happy in her life and not feel constant anger and resentment every time she thinks of my husband, but she is the only one who can make that happen. I hope she does.

Blessed Be!
the Witchy Writer